Make it right
by Raffy-for-Olivia
Summary: "I'm your partner.. for better or worse" Eliot,Olivia,Nick. Two men One woman. They both love her. each one on his own special way. As a best friend, a soulmate, a woman, the mother of his children. But they both love her as a partner. They both want to be the most important men in her life. HE will support her.. when she'll feel alone.. E/O friendship only! N/O
1. Chapter 1

**Ηello guys. I have several ideas of fanfictions the last days n my mind but i am just a beginner on the whole fanfiction thing. unfortunately I'm hardly an E/O shipper and i think this and my bad english will make it more difficult to find some readers. but I'd appreciate and love you if u become one of them! if u like my story just live a review ! a single dot will be enough for me to understand! :D Be gentle ^^**

**PS: this chapter is kinda weird cause it's the first. I also don't know exactly where this story is going so if u like and want me to continue your ideas will be appreciated :)**

~Chapter 1~

She heard her phone ringing at the middle of the night,she looked at the clock 3:52am. This couldn't be for good.

"Benson" she answered trying to adjust to this hard awakening. She had managed to sleep less than an hour. Her thoughts were over Elliot all night. She missed him so much.

" Liv I'm sorry t wake you up, we have a victim down at Mercy, can you go?" Cragen said. She didn't answer for some seconds. She could barely keep her eyes open. "If you''re too tired Nick can handle this by himself" Cragen finally broke the silence. He understood she was tired.

" I'm on my way captain" She finally said and turned off her phone not giving Cragen a chance to answer back. She got up and went to the bathroom to wash her face. This didn't help either. Maybe Cragen was right. It'd be better if she could just go back to sleep, but she was too stubborn to do that. She put on a sweater and her jeans, grabbed her badge and gun and left her apartment.

No longer than ten minutes later she was at Mercy hospital. " Hello. Detective Olivia Benson Manhattan SVU I was informed there's a woman here for me?"

" Yeah, detective come with me" the nurse kindly offered and leaded Olivia outside their victim's room. Nick was outside waiting for her.

" Hey Liv, you look like hell!" he said and patted her shoulder.

" Thanks partner!" she said with a smirk. " what do we have?"

" Loreen Jones, age 19. found at central park. the guy who found her said he was walking with his dog when he heard her screaming, he found her alone and saw a shadow running away. He called 911. that's all" Olivia looked with the are-you-kidding-me expression drawn on her face.

"Walking his dog? At four in the morning? We buy that?!"

" Well Amanda's with him down at the precinct, checking his story. You ready to go talk to Loreen?"

Olivia captured her face between her hands and pushed her hair back. " Yeah let's go." Nick kindly grabbed her arm " Olivia, you sure you are okay? You look like you can use some sleep. you know I can do this or just call Fin.."

" Let's just do it Nick.. I'm okay . Sleep can wait" she faked a smiled at him and stepped in Loreen's room, Nick followed her.

" Hello Loreen, I'm detective Benson, this is my partner detective Amaro. We'd like to ask you a few questions if you are okay with that, or... we can come back in the morning"

Loreen's red eyes stared at Olivia. "No, let's do it now"

Olivia gave her a sympathetic smile." I need you to tell me what happened" . Loreen pulled a scary face as the memories came back

" Um, I don't remember a lot. I went over to my best friend's birthday party. We had a few drinks. I flirted with a guy...then it gets fuzzy. I only remember waking up at central park.

" " Okay Loreen, does your best friend or this guy you flirted with have a name?" Nick asked.

" Yeah, It's Ellen. You can find her address on my i-pod it's in my purse." She muttered. "What about the guy? Did you know him?"

" Um, no Ellen probably does. It was her party. but we only had a drink together"

" You sure of that Loreen? Your rape kit came out positive." Nick told her. Loreen started crying as soon as words escaped Nick's mouth. Olivia kneeled in front of her and hold her hand.

" We are gonna find the guy who did this okay? Why don't you try and have some sleep and we will get back to you tomorrow honey" Loreen wiped her tears away and smiled at Olivia

" Thank you detective"

As soon as they stepped out of the hospital Olivia took a deep breath, as the fresh air hit her

" You want a ride?" Nick offered.

" No it's okay you don't have to. I'll grab a cab"

" Well I know I don't have to, I want to." he said and smiled at her. She nodded and smiled back following him in his car. She fell asleep as soon as she sat on the car's seat. Nick kindly woke her up when they arrived, it was 5:00am. That meant they had to "get up" for work in less than two hours. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep now.

" Why don't you come up for a drink? Or you prefer to go and catch some wings?" she said.

" Well you seemed like you can get some rest." he replied.

" My sleep is destroyed anyways" she said. "Come" . Nick followed her inside the building and in her apartment. They sat on her couch and Olivia brought a red wine and two glasses. They had a few drinks. Nick noticed Olivia's lost look.

" What is it Liv?" She moved her eyes from the place they'd be looking for the last minutes. The only photo she kept with her and Elliot.

" Nothing. I'm fine you know...tired". She lied.

" You can't trick me Benson. I know you miss him. You two were close weren't ya?"

She nodded. " partners and best friends for 13 years. I just thought he'd say a goodbye, after all we went through together..." her voice cracked and a tear escaped. She quickly wiped it away, hoping Nick wouldn't see it. But he did. His hand caressed her cheek and he looked deep in her chocolate brown eyes.

" Liv, if you possibly think this was your fault by any ways... it's not."

She sighted. " Maybe it was, maybe I did something that got him angry and he didn't even wanted to say goodbye. Pressed him to hard.. I really don't know. I wish I knew.. I.."

Nick stopped her by kissing her lips.. a peck kiss. He didn't know what her reaction would be, but the power of alcohol and the emotions of the moment overcame them both. He deepened the kiss when he saw she didn't pull back. He licked her lips and then put his tongue in her mouth, exploring it and she moaned a little. This little moan turned him on even more. She leaned back on the couch and need climbed on her. His hands slid up under her sweater tossing it on the floor and seconds later her bra followed. She unbuttoned his shirt and he helped her take it off of him. He placed his hand on her hips squeezing them and starting kissing her neck, slurping it and made all the way down to her breasts capturing them with his hands teasing her nipple with his hand and sucking the other. She moaned out of pleasure and pressed his head deeper on her. This drove him nuts.. He went even more down on her abdomen and let his tongue travel across it as he unzipped her jeans and took them away along with her panties with one move.

She was now completely naked. His erection was hurting him in his jeans so he did himself a favor and took them off too before Olivia had the chance to do it herself. He parted her legs apart, his fingers tracing on her thighs, and he placed soft kisses on her. He caressed her groin and she moaned again. Her hands automatically removed his boxers as she couldn't take it anymore." I want you" she whispered. Nick dropped his head between her legs, licking her vagina, drinking her juice. Olivia felt her orgasm coming as her muscles contracted. She wrapped her legs around his head and pressed it deeper in her. Nick felt her orgasm,but he didn't stop. He only found her clit and started sucking harder. " Oh my God.." Olivia moaned loudly. She tried to catch her breath. Nick moved closer to her and kissed her lips passionately.

He moved and sucked her ear and put two fingers inside her." God Liv you're so wet" he said. Her thighs clenched as he slide his fingers deeper. She needed him inside her. But in order to do that she had to help him a little. She moved down at his hard dick. Her hands caressed his balls and she started licking the head of his dick and moving to the base of it. " Mmm Oh, God. You're so good..." She felt his enjoyment and took all his dick in her mouth, moving it in and out in a slow pace so she could torture him. He continued sucking her nipples. As he went closer to come he gently pressed her head on his dick. A small moan escaped from her. She understood he was ready to come and took his dick off of her mouth, her body still crying out for him. He moved inside her slowly, letting her to adjust to his size. He then started moving faster and faster and they both ended up having their orgasms as he came in her...

Olivia opened her eyes and saw the clock. 7:20am. She must have fallen asleep. Her head was hurting her and she was still so tired. She tried to stoop up, its then that she noticed she was naked..and that there was someone else next to her. She turned her head and saw naked Nick sleeping. Some flashbacks of last night pumped in her head. "Oh my God.." she screamed. Nick opened his eyes. Olivia grabbed her sweater from the ground and covered her body.

" Wow" Nick screamed as he realized what had happened. Olivia tossed him his boxers, not looking at him..

" I uh, I'll go and get dressed in the bathroom, I'll wait there till you are dressed." she muttered and left. Few minutes later Olivia gave Nick a cup of coffee and sat next to him.

" What the hell happened last night" she said staring at her cup of coffee.

" I don't know Livvy, Well I know obviously but, don't really remember many things..I'm sorry Liv" he patted her arm. She jumped at his touch. "Sorry, I don't know why I did that.. I.. I .. you should probably leave. We're already late for work."

He nodded and made his way to her door " what will we say to Cragen?" . Olivia thought for a while

"we had a few drinks, wasn't easy to wake up in the morning" she said and gave him an awkward smile as he left.

An hour later Olivia stepped in the precinct. Nick was already there.

" Oh my God I'm so sorry cap" Cragen was obviously angry.

" Save it Olivia, ask Fin to fill you in with what you missed" he said and slammed the door behind him as he walked in his office. Fin tried to calm the atmosphere.

" It's okay Liv, we all get too tired, he's just like that cause IAB is on his head all day" Olivia sighted

" What for?"

" You... they think you've been getting worse since Elliot left the unit..and keeps pressing him to press you more and more" Olivia was about to speak but Fin interrupted her " Let's not talk about this now though okay? Cap said I should fill you in. So me and Munch went over at Ellen's and found this guy's name Arthur Donan Ellen's brother. He's in the interrogation room , you wanna come with me?" She nodded not giving a single look at Nick. She felt so embarrased, couldn't believe what happened last night, and she let it happen.

" Arthur Donan, 30,you were charged with sexual assault two years ago.. and you flirted with Loreen Jones at your sister's party. explain yourself" She said and dropped the file on the desk.

" I don't have something to explain, you said it yourself. My sister's party. I had every reason to be there."

" Of course you did with a bunch of young girls ten years younger than you must have been a great opportunity" Fin said trying to trick him.

" It was man, I ended up having a threesome you know..."

" What about Loreen, she refused to participate in your little private party so you raped her?"

Arthur hit his feast on the table " what? I didn't rape anyone you bitch"

" Calm down sex idol.." Fin warned him and stepped protectively in front of Olivia.

" What are you her pimp?" Olivia tried to control herself... she was slowly breaking down.

" What about a DNA sample? That would be a great help for both of us, if you are not the rapist, I'll do my self a favor and stop seeing your face, and you will walk out of here"

Arthur stepped near Olivia his face only a few cm away from hers.. He grabbed her hand. " You want DNA? Take it yourself" he said and put her hand between his pants. She smiled ironically, she then kicked him and "defused" him by twisting his hand so hard. He screamed in pain.

" Don't mess with me" She said and stepped out of the interrogation room.

" Olivia,my office now!" was all Cragen said. She sighted and followed him. All she wanted to do now is disappear, not think of yesterday's events not think of Elliot, just disappear and be alone. " Close the door" he ordered and she did so.

" Captain I.."

" Don't you dare to talk! I don't wanna hear any of your crap. I'll need your badge and your gun" Olivia froze " I'm suspended ? Why?!"

"IAB wants me to give you at least ten days of personal time off. I'm just making sure you're taking it. For your own sake. Now Go..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello guys :D I updated the 2nd chapter but i noticed i didnt update all of it :O so now i re-update it! I had my first review my first fav and my first two followers :) thanks u! hope u like the rest of it! pleas R&R**

**PS: I PROMISE NEXT CHAPTER GETS BETTER :)**

Olivia left Cragen's office and went over to her desk, and grabbed her bag.

"Everything okay Olivia?" Amanda asked, noticing how angry she was.

" No" she answered and headed for the elevator. Nick ran behind her and stopped her.

" Liv is this because of me? Cragen noticed something or I.."

She stopped him. " No, it has nothing to do with you.."

" Olivia honestly um, I'm so sorry. I didn't..."

She stopped him again. " Nick just stop okay? Just... stop" She said and entered the elevator. As soon as the doors closed, she pushed her head back on the elevator's wall staying there till the doors opened again and she left the precinct...

" Everything okay champ?" Fin asked Nick when he came back from talking to Olivia.

" I screwed up" . He said and hit his desk hard with his feast. It was then that Cragen opened his office's room and approached them.

" I want you all here. IAB is and will be over our heads for some time. I can't stand any mistakes, you got it?" He said looking at Nick.

" Is that why Olivia got suspended for ? She made a mistake for once in her life?"

" Save it Nick!. Olivia is like a daughter to me but I can't have her here when she can't control herself. She'll be back when she finds herself again."

" She didn't do something wrong for God's sake! She just lost the most important person in her life and all you do is judging her? What's wrong with you." He said full with anger and made his way towards the cribs. Fin was about to say something but Cragen didn't let him.

" Don't speak unless what you wanna say is related to our case." Fin lowered his head trying to "swallow" what he had to say.

" Yes captain."

Amanda who was looking on the whole scene, felt the heavy atmosphere and she tried to do something to take their minds out of Olivia or anything else that could cause a fight.

" Captain you need to see this.." She said pointing her finger on her computer screen. Fin and Cragen both approached. " I checked Loreen's twitter till two months back, and look what I found" . She opened a link of a photo Loreen had posted a few months back that depicted nothing less than her, Ellen and Arthur on a bar, smiling for the picture.

" I thought she said she didn't know him" Fin said and Cragen nodded, giving him the "okay" to go and question her.

Entering her apartment Olivia felt her knees giving away and she immediately reached for her sofa. She sat on the edge of it. She looked around and saw the two glasses of wine on her table. It' then that she recalled last night's events. Nick kissed her and she didn't even pull back. Then his hands under her sweater, on her breasts,in her... " We were only supposed to have a drink" she uttered as a tear escaped. She was so angry with herself. How could she be so weak. How could she do that...sleep with her partner. She broke a personal rule...like back then.. with Cassidy, and she lost a a great friend. She didn't want to lose another but what if thing between her and Nick wouldn't work out after that.

"_I'm your partner for better or worse"_ this phrase kept running in her head. Elliot had told her that, and he indeed was there for a long time, but what about now... worse was there but he wasn't.. because he was not her partner anymore.

She moved in her bathroom and opened the bath-tap. She filled the bath with hot water, took her clothes off and stepped in. She felt all her muscles relax as the hot water touched her. She needed to relax in order to "find herself" as Cragen said earlier. She closed her eyes and there was he again. Nick kissing her, forcing his tongue in her mouth, kissing her neck, touching her private parts, sucking her and actually bringing her over the edge! and then there was he, Elliot standing there stunned like the last day she saw him, with the gun on his hands looking at the girl he had killed, blood on his shirt, he seemed scary. And then the whole picture changed. They were together again, drinking coffee and eating Chinese, sharing jokes and smiles, taking care of each other.. " _I'm your partner for better or worse" ." I'm your partner for better or worse" ." I'm your partner for better or worse". _Same words and scenes repeated themselves in her head. She violently opened her eyes. The water was now cold. She must have fallen too deep in her thoughts. She stood up and grabbed her bath robe. As soon as she strapped it in there was a knock on her door. " Jut not Nick, please." she said. She couldn't face him right now...

She opened the door and was glad to see it was Amanda. " I brought you some Greek food, can I come in ?" she said and smiled at her.

" Yes,please" Olivia answered. " Make yourself comfortable I'm just gonna put something on".

Olivia returned back a few minutes later. Amanda had already served the food she had brought and was waiting for her.

" You want a beer?" Olivia offered reaching for her fridge.

" Sure" Amanda said and smiled again.

Olivia was glad it was Amanda the one who came. She was always trying to be happy, and she always passed this mood on others. She brought the beers and sat next to her.

" Greek food huh? Never tried that what is it?" she said and took this sandwich-like thing Amanda had given to her.

" It's called Gyros. It's like a sandwich with potatoes, meat, tomato, onions ,tzatziki sauce wrapped in this weird think, called pita bread." Amanda explained.

Olivia took a bite. " Wow that's great. Where did you find this in the USA"

"My cousin loves Greece, she runs a gyros-restaurant here in NY. I thought you might like something different than usual" She said as she took a slurp of her beer. Olivia smiled.

" So how's the case going? I didn't have the chance to help at all..."

Amanda saw where this was going and interrupted her. " The case is fine , you know, seemed like Loreen made the whole think up so her boyfriend wouldn't get angry with the fact that she had rough sex with someone else on that party..." She paused, took another slurp of her beer and continued. " But Liv, it's not the case you wanna talk about is it?" Olivia shook her head. She did care about the case, but at the moment, she cared about taking herself back to work.

" Is captain too angry with me?"

" No, Liv he's not angry, he's just.. stressed, like you are. You know you are not being yourself lately. He's just trying to stabilize you and get you back to normal before you lose your job. Your partner left over a year ago... I kinda thought you were over it.." She said waiting for Olivia's reaction.

" I thought the same Amie...it turned out I was just trying to be okay. How can I be okay when the person I've spent most part of my life with is not here.. I know I sound like a broken heart chick, but.. I can't help it. Elliot was like my big brother.. like my other half. I always had someone to be there for me and...and now suddenly i'm on my own. It's just too much.."Her voice cracked, and a sob escaped her...

Amanda pulled Olivia in a big sweet-friendly hug and hold her there stroking her hair... " I'm here Livvie, I know it's not the same but.. I'm here" she said never breaking the hug...

Two weeks later...

It was 5:00am, Olivia was not sleeping... It was finally the day she'd go back to work. But that wasn't the reason she wasn't sleeping. She had a terrible nausea feeling that always ended up with her throwing up the last three days. Well getting the flu wasn't something uncommon, but she didn't want to miss the chance to go back to work and wait for more days till she recovers. She missed the precinct and all those cases and she was away for only a couple of weeks. The first days of her time off didn't go so well.. She was a wreck, lost between the world of her and Elliot and that night of weakness she spent with Nick. She felt like she betrayed Elliot although she didn't have erotic feelings for him. But maybe, just maybe she felt like that cause she was falling for someone else. Maybe she liked that night with Nick and was trying to convince herself she didn't.

Amanda had told her that she can't stay stuck in the past, and she was right! That's when she firstly cleared up her mind, and then started working out and doing many stuff with all the free time she had, she needed to prove herself and then her captain that she was back for good. And she made it.

She heard the phone vibrating..She reached for it and saw a message from Amanda

_Pick you up at 6:30_

Olivia smiled at her friend's statement. She had told her the day before that she was kinda anxious on going back to work. Amanda did care about Olivia. She tried to be there for her all those past two weeks supporting her like true friends do.

Olivia looked at the clock.. 5:50am. She messaged her back.

_Okay thank you_

She got up but the nausea feeling came violently on her and she ran for her toilet, where she emptied her stomach... " Jeez Olivia, control yourself" She said and washed her face. She then went over at her bedroom and opened her closet. " what should I were" she muttered to herself and pulled out her ordinary pair of jeans and a gray hoody.

Amanda arrived exactly at 6:30 and rang Olivia's apartment bell.

" it's open" she heard Olivia's voice saying from inside. She slowly stepped in and closed the door behind her.

"Liv..where are you?" Amanda shouted searching for her friend.

" In the bathroom". Amanda made her way in Olivia's bathroom to see her sitting on the floor, her head against the wall.

" Oh Liv, you still up with that flu? Maybe it's not a good idea for you to come back today" She said and helped her stand up. Olivia washed her face for the tenth time that morning.

" Amanda, let's not go through this okay. I'm going to do my job. I'm not staying home for another week just because of a stupid flu"

Amanda smiled as she saw Olivia's excitement when she referred to her job.

" Whatever you say Ma'am".

They left Olivia's apartment. Amanda was driving slowly and carefully all the way to the precinct.

" Speed up giiirl.. we're not gonna arrive today if you continue like that" Olivia complaint.

"Haha, save your adrenalin for the perps Olivia I'm just looking for some parking space."

Amanda parked the car, then she and Olivia entered the building.. Olivia was heavy breathing all the way in the elevator.

" Calm down Liv. You're gonna have a heart attack" Amanda said and playfully punched her arm. Olivia smiled but the smile disappear when the elevator's doors opened. She held her breath and moved to her desk . She touched it.. her desk her chair... and everything on it.

" You gonna keep caressing your desk and not give as a single hug?" Fin said . Olivia turned her head and saw him. She ran and gently hugged him.

" Welcome back baby-girl"

" It's nice to be back" She said with a huge smile.

"And here is my present for you Liv.." Munch said bringing her a cup of coffee.

Olivia took the cup and put it on her desk,then hugged him.

" So kind of you John, God, I missed you people"

" Did you miss me?" Nick said as he pulled her on a hug. She hugged him back and was glad to find herself staying calm.

" I missed you the most" she said. She was so happy. Everything was going to be okay...

The laughs and smiles stopped when Cragen approached.

"It's nice to have you back Liv" he said and gave her her badge and gun.

" Thanks captain.." She said.. Cragen pulled her on a hug. This took Olivia by surprise but she relaxed in his arms. He only let her when his office's phone rang.

" So many hugs today..." Amanda said wryly when Olivia sat next to her.

" yeah, everything seems okay for now".. she said and took her hand in hers " Thank you Amanda.." Amanda smiled at her.

" Okay guys let's go back to work, Liv Nick, we have a girl's body. Warner and CSU are already there. You can go"

Olivia's eyes widen.

" You serious captain, I can go out already?"

Cragen smiled " Well I trust you, you're back go and do your job!".

She smiled and grabbed her coat and ran towards this exit. Nick running behind her.

" Detectives, right here" they heard a CSU guy calling them as soon as they arrived.

" Liv, it's nice to see you back here" Melinda said. She was standing in front of the body so Olivia and Nick hadn't seen it yet.

" Thanks Mel. What do we have here?"

Melinda sighed and stepped away " This girl here, a fisherman found her on the river this morning, bruised and cigarette marks all over her skin. Cause of death asphyxiation. She was strungled. She's been dead for less than a day. I'll know more after the autopsy"

Olivia and Nick kneeled in front of the girl. Olivia put her hand in front of her mouth protectively.

" How old is she?" Nick asked. He held Olivia's hand as he saw her expression, but not only. She had turned white.

" I'd say 8 maximum"

" She was only a baby" Olivia uttered. She placed a hand on her stomach and looked away. Melinda looked at Nick and he looked at her.. Looks full of meaning. Then he pulled Olivia up.

" Liv, why don't you step back. It's a rough beginning huh. Come here do you want me to get you something to eat or drink on our way back? " he said as the made their way to the car.

She loved the way he was taking care of her... like Elliot did. But she wasn't contrasting them anymore. She just appreciated everything he did for her.. HE...

" No Nick, the truth is I'm kinda sick the past few days not many things stay in my stomach, but thank you anyways" She gave him a warm smile.

" Just make sure you wont get worse okay?" She nodded and stepped in the car.

" You never told me if you got back with your wife.." She said looking at him as he was driving.

" No, no we didn't I talk with Zara everyday through skype though and we're sharing custody."

"That's great Nick I'm happy for you. I'm sorry for your marriage though.." He smiled at her

" Nah... there's nothing to be sorry about Liv.. besides.. I've fallen for you." he said and smiled. Olivia widen her eyes. What did he just say...

" Nick..I.."

" No you don't have to say anything Livvie.. It's okay".

She smiled at him, non of them talked till they arrived at the precinct. _I was just gonna say the same_ she thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello guys :) Im updating the 3rd chapter cause the second one wasn't that good xD**

**it's my 3rd chapter and i have total 6 reviews 2 followes and fav.. i'ts better than nothing if u think this is my first story ^_^ R&REVIEW please it means a lot to me!**

Amanda seemed surprised when she saw Nick approaching without Olivia.

"Where's Olivia?"

"She ran in the bathroom as soon as we arrived. I have to admit I'm kinda worried" He said. Amanda saw the desire in his eyes, every time he talked about Olivia. Nick was a good guy, and according to Amanda the best one for Olivia. Olivia had told her what happened between them, and so far, she was the only who knew about it.

Amanda ran in the bathroom to find Olivia sitting on the sink. She knocked the open door so Olivia would know she was there and took small steps toward her.

"How are you doing Liv" She said and wrapped her arm around her.

" You tell me" . Olivia sniffed and took a deep breath.

" I'll tell you! I think you should tell him" Amanda answered. Olivia rose an eyebrow. What did Amanda mean?

" Tell who and what?" she asked. Her heart started beating faster as she thought what Amanda could have meant.

" You can't trick me Liv. There's no flu there, is it?" She said with a smirk. Olivia dropped her head between her hands.

"No there isn't" she said, not looking at her. Amanda heard some sobs escaping from Olivia. She couldn't see her face cause it was buried between her hands, but she stroked her back.

" Hey calm down Liv. Everything will be okay you'll see. Nick loves you and you know that. You love him. Go tell him what you have to tell him and wait for his reaction. Everything else can wait " Olivia raised her head and looked Amanda in the eyes.

" I thought people can't see their guardian angels". She said and hugged her tight."Thank you, I owe you" she added and kissed her forehead.

They both walked together back in the room.

" Liv can I talk to you for a minute?" Cragen said. She swallowed hard and followed him in his office. Last time that happened it wasn't for good.

"Sit" he said.

" Just tell me I'm not suspended again".

" You are not. I just want to make sure "the flu" you have is alright".

_Was it that obvious_ She thought. Cragen himself noticed. Did he understand whose was it. Next question was.. Did Nick notice and just didn't care, or what?... She didn't answer to Cragen just lowered her eyes.

"Did you speak with your doctor Liv? Had an appointment?"

She took a deep breath. " I was there yesterday. My next appointment is in two weeks. And.. Cap just to make this clear...I can work."

Cragen nodded and opened the door for her. She went straight on her desk and sat there. She pretended to be reading some papers. But what she was actually doing was thinking about Nick. He was sitting on his desk, right across hers, she looked at him with the corner of her eye. He was continuously looking at her, like he was waiting for something.

" Are you feeling better Liv?" He finally said to broke the silence.

"Yeah" She answered. He smiled at her.. this smile.. She could feel herself getting wet only by his smile. She was so confused...this was really confusing... she had to talk to him. Besides everybody would notice sooner or later.

Next couple of hours were quiet, till Cragen got out of his office again.

" Nick, Olivia.. Warner has something for you" He said. He then thought again. He thought that it wasn't a very good idea for Olivia to go down to the morgue, between all the dead bodies. " Nick, take Amanda with you".

Olivia looked at him a little bit offended. He saw her but didn't change his mind. She walked next to him and whispered " Captain, I told you before. I can work. Let me do my job"

" Olivia, I'm not questioning your skills. I'm just making sure you won't end up emptying your empty stomach again." She sighed and went back on her desk.

Nick and Amanda went to the morgue where Melinda was waiting for them.

" What's up for us?" Amanda said looking stunned at the dead body of the little girl.

" I checked the little girl's DNA. Weirdo. "

" What do you mean Melinda?" Nick said not looking at the little girl. She reminded him of his daughter, and that's what he did. He put his daughter in that place, not looking at her made it easier for him not to imagine his daughter being dead.

" I can tell you for sure.. this girl's parents are relatives by blood"

" Oh God... " Amanda covered her mouth with her hand.. " I think i'm gonna puke" she said and stepped outside.

"Thank you Mel" Nick said and followed Amanda. " Are you okay?" he asked and patted her shoulder.

" Yeah it's just.. Everyday I see how sick people can get... and it never stops"

" I get it.. And sometimes I even imagine Zara in their place... believe me it can't get worse" He said and passed her with quick big steps.

It was now 21:00. Time to go home. Olivia yawned , but stopped as soon as she heard Nick laughing.

"What's that funny?" she said with a funny tone and pretended to be angry.

" You" he said... " Come on I'll give you a ride".

They both stepped up and moved toward the exit. They were the last to leave. Nick opened his car's door like a true gentleman. Olivia gave him a cute smile and he felt himself getting weak. He closed her door and sighed, moving to his. There was some random-talk till they arrived, but nothing specific. Not what Nick would like to hear not what Olivia had to say.

" Goodnight Nick" she said and hugged him "Thank you for the ride"

"That's absolutely my pleasure" he said and caressed her cheek, looking deep in her eyes.."Goodnight Liv".

Waking up every morning got more and more difficult. It was now almost the end of that week. Friday. Everybody was at work except Olivia. She was an hour late. She was always late this past week for ten maybe twenty minutes.. because of this nausea she had due to "the flu". Nick had been suspicious to this. But now an hour.. he was worried.

"Where the hell is Liv" He asked as he turned off his phone from calling her.

" I'm right here." she said running to her desk. " So sorry for being so late.. I had a very fucked up morning with this nausea" She placed her bag on her desk and looked at Amanda. Amanda nodded at her and then Olivia looked back at Nick. " Nick you have a minute?"

He nodded, surprised by her questioned and followed her in the cribs and closed the door when they both entered the room. Olivia sat on one of the bed's edge. He knelt in front of her. He saw her look dropping on the floor and took her hands in his.

" What is it Liv?"

" I..um..." She moved her eyes from the floor and looked deep in his.." I'm pregnant".

Nick widen his eyes as the words escaped her mouth. He hugged her and started stroking her hair, holding her deep in her arms.. She wrapped her hands around him, trying to hold back her tears. " I don't wanna do this alone" she said between sobs.

" It's okay Livvie..It's okay...You know that I love you. That means I'll be there for you and our baby no matter what you choose or who you'll be with. You won't be alone."

She looked at him,surprised. " And what if the one I want to be with is you.." she muttered and buried her face on his neck again.

" Then that makes me the happiest person alive. " He said and took her face in his hands making her look at him and softly kissed her lips. That was it. Both of them felt alive again. Olivia tangled her fingers on his hair and pulled him closer to her. He licked her lips asking for permission to enter. She opened her mouth allowing him to deepen the kiss. Their tongues were dancing together for quiet some minutes.

Amanda came to tell them that they had a lead, but seeing them like that, she didn't want to interrupt them. She smiled and how happy they both seemed lost in each others' kiss. She went back down, and lied to the others, said that she informed them and that they were coming in a while.

Nick and Olivia were still kissing, but finally broke apart when their lungs begged for some air. They both smiled against each other's lips. He kissed her forehead and took her hand in his

" Let's go back down before they report us missing" He said kissing her lips one last time before they headed for the squad room.

Amanda gave Olivia a smile full of meaning as soon as she saw her stepping in. Olivia smiled back and gave her the eye. She felt so happy at the moment and wanted nothing more than spend time with Nick.

A few minutes later Olivia saw a little boy running to her " Livvie" he screamed. She hugged the boy and took him in her arms.

"Eli, what are you doing here buddy? Is mum with you"

Eli shook his head " No dad is" he said and seconds later Elliot stepped in. Olivia let Eli down and the look on her face changed from happy to sad in seconds. Nick approached her and rubbed her back as Amanda took Eli to buy him soda.

" Everything okay babe?" he whispered to her.

Elliot stepped closer " Hi Liv". She refused to look at him and turned her face away and looked at Nick.

" Nick this is my...ex partner.."

Nick's eyes immediately got filled with anger. He remembered what Olivia went through because of him. He protectively stepped in front of her.

" You wanna talk to him?" he said giving Elliot a hate-look.

" No" she said and started pulling away wiping the tears that threatened to fall away. Elliot tried to reach her but Nick prevented him from doing that.

" You heard her.."

" I know she doesn't mean it pal, go away" he said full of jealousy.

" Mean it or not, she said no. You're not going anywhere near my partner till she says she want you to" Nick said raising his voice a little bit.

"Move" Elliot yelled. Cragen heard the voices and came. " Calm your tits guys!" He yelled more than Elliot did. " Elliot, come with me." he said and looked at Olivia who was constantly crying. " Nick.. take her home" Nick nodded and helped Olivia with her coat as Elliot followed Cragen in his office.

Nick stopped Olivia before she entered his car. She had stopped crying but was obviously sad.

" Are you okay Liv?" he asked , pulling her chin up so she'd look at him.

" No" she uttered. " But I'm glad you're with me" she added and kissed his lips. He kissed her back and placed his hand on her flat belly. She covered his hand with her own.

" I will be with you for much more.. I will be here for both of you". His hand covering her cheek as he kissed her again.

Elliot saw the whole scene from Cragen's office window. Cragen was talking to him but he was lost in his thoughts. _She's in love. Look at her how her face shined when he kissed her. And this hand on her belly. This couldn't be random.. Is she pregnant with his baby..._

" Elliot I'm talking to you.." Cragen yelled and Elliot returned immediately back to reality.

" What? Is there something more to say? I told you yesterday when I called you. I wanna come back"

" You know as hell that this is not so easy Elliot. You'll need to spend some time with the shrink , learn how to control your anger and once you're back Tucker and his guys will be over your head ready to kill you with every single mistake you'll make."

" I know cap. I told you i'm ready to try. This job is my life..." He said and headed for the door.

" Elliot." Cragen called him again. Elliot turned his head and faced him.

" Do me a favor and give Olivia some space, will ya?"

" Why, because she's mad at me or because she's pregnant?" he said...He didn't say what he had just seen. Captain probably didn't know she was in a relationship with this guy, and he didn't want to destroy her happiness.

" Both." Cragen answered surprised on how could Elliot know that already. He wondered if Elliot knew who was the baby's father. Cause he himself knew. He did notice the changes between Nick and Olivia. He wasn't going to separate them for as long as they had it under control. But he knew they'd be a few quarrels between these two men. He just hoped they'll find a way for communication.. for Olivia's sake.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello everyone :D ** **I'm gonna update the fourth chapter cause I may not update till later this week and i don't like leaving you guys like that :) Βut I've already written the next three chapters and I maybe you're gonna like it , but you gotta wait a little :D I want you to know how much I appreciate and LOVE your reviews. They absolutely make my day. Thank you from the bottom of my heart 3 **

**Read and Review please :D Enjoy!**

**Ps: Any suggestion you might have or anything... is welcome :) **

**There's some sex scene.. I'm warning ya ;) **

Olivia and Nick arrived at her apartment around 12:00am. It was so early yet she was home because of Elliot. Nick opened her apartment door for her, stepped in and made sure she was comfortable and had some food in case she'd get hungry. He was ready to go back to work. He couldn't see Liv anywhere in the living room, he shouted so she'd hear him.

"Liv I'm gonna go now". Olivia dressed only in her bath robe approached him and pulled him violently in a kiss.

"Thank you for everything" she whispered in his ear with a voice full of desire. He took a deep breath as he felt himself getting aroused. She kissed his neck and ran her hands on his chest.

" Liv.. um that's not really helping me go.." he said trying to control himself.

" I don't want you to go" She said.. " I want you here with me" She started unbuttoning his shirt licking every new flesh that got free from it. Nick tried for one last time to stop her. He didn't want her to feel like he took advantage of that situation or that she let emotions overcome her like the first time." Liv I don't think this is a good idea. I don't want you to regret this later"

Olivia smiled as she got on her knees unzipping his pants.

" I won't regret this, I want this" she said and dropped his boxers down. She cupped his balls with her hand and stroked them. She leaned and licked the tip of his dick. A deep groan escaped his lips. His breath began racing. Olivia noticed that and wrapped her lips around his shaft, and slid it into her mouth." God Liv..." he groaned. He decided he had lost this battle. He took her in his arms and moved her on the bed, removing her robe. He started touching all her body with his hands.. like he didn't know where to start from.

" I want this" she repeated again taking away every single hesitation he had. He moved his head on her breasts and took her nipple on his mouth,his warm tongue sucking it. He took her other tit in his hand and gently squeezed it. He was turned on for good. He slid a finger into her wet vagina and started rubbing her swollen clit. She moaned loudly his name digging her nails in his back as her first orgasm came.

He moved his mouth down to her vagina,and took his time enjoying every minute of it. He rubbed his thumbs all over her soft beautiful flesh. He then let his tongue dance on her clit making her moan again.

" Damn you Nick.." she said between moans. He held her clit with his lips and hummed. She started squirming and shaking, her breath came out in gasps, he pushed his head deeper into her sucking harder as the second orgasm hit her. She caught her breath and looked in his eyes.

" Let me"...she said. She caressed and kissed all the way from his neck to the base of his dick. She then grabbed it gently with her hand and started her magic moves again. She started licking the base and every inch till she reached its head. She rested her tongue there, doing little tricks, licking and sucking, gently biting it..She took it all in her mouth moving faster and faster...

"Oh God...Liv... I'm gonna cum ..." Olivia continued sucking him hard. She wanted to give him the enjoyment he had just given to her.

"Liv.." he screamed out her name and pressed her head deeper on him as he came in her mouth. She swallowed him, and then went up and kissed him.

"Thank you for staying." was all she said. She then rested her head on his chest and let sleep entice her.

Nick woke up when he heard his phone ringing. It was Cragen. He didn't move so as not to wake up Olivia.

"Amaro" he answered half whispering.

" Nick where are you?"

" I'm sorry captain, I stayed to comfort Olivia and fall asleep on her couch as I waited for her to sleep"

" Excuse accepted. Can you come here now? We have the guy who killed the girl"

"I'm on my way cap". He turned off his phone and heard Olivia's laugh.

" You're such a liar" she said as she moved closer to him. He kissed her nose and smiled.

" Only for you. I gotta go now Liv, I'll check on you when I'm done okay?" She nodded and let him go.

As soon as Nick left, Olivia's thoughts returned back to Elliot. _Why did he come back._ Didn't he hurt her enough when he left? What if she'd trust him and he'd leave again_. _No she couldn't, she couldn't work with him again. She had a pretty hard time getting over it. She just couldn't deal with him at the moment. She had a relationship which had just got started, and a child on its way. Far too many things to think about.

" You can't even imagine how badly I want you to arrive" she said and placed her hand on her belly.

A few hours later, around 22:00 Nick was ready to go home when Elliot stopped him.

" Can I have a word with you...Nick" he said wryly.

" With this tone on your voice no" he said and passed over him with fast moves. Elliot grabbed him from his collar. Nick immediately grabbed his arm and took it off of him.

" Listen to me, I don't like seeing your face either, I just want you to know. If you hurt Olivia, ever.. you're a dead man"

Nick laughed. "Relax, I'm not like you". He said and turned his face again to leave..

"And Nick, I believe these are Olivia's" he said and tossed him over her second pair of keys.

Nick caught them and left, pulling his phone out to call Olivia. He called her twice on his way home, but when he saw she didn't answer he decided he'd go over to her apartment. He used her keys to open the door and felt relaxed to see her sleeping on the couch, her hand rested on her belly. He leaned and kissed her forehead. She opened her eyes and pulled back, breathing quickly.

" Hey relax, I didn't mean to scare you. Sorry."

She laughed. " No, no I'm sorry. I'm just used on being alone. How did you get in?"

" You forgot your keys and Elliot gave them to me. And you need to get unused on being alone" he said and headed for the door.

" Where are you going" she said pulling out a baby face.

"Home" he answered.

" Can't you stay?" She almost begged him. He smiled at how cute she was, he sat next to her and kissed her knee.

" I can if you want me to" She stood up from the couch and sat on his lap.

" Stay" she said and gave him a passionate kiss. He stroked the back of her head and pulled away.

" You into some movie night?"

" Sounds great" She said. " you choose the movie I'll order pizza".

Nick and Olivia laid on their couch and watched the movie Nick had chosen "The back up plan". This movie was about a woman who chose a sperm donor from a sperm bank to have children with cause she was growing older, and she was unlucky enough to end up being pregnant with twins and meeting the guy of her dreams after she was pregnant. That movie ended with this woman who had married that man and had given birth to her twin girls a few months back discovering she was pregnant again .

Nick had his arms around Olivia and rested them on her belly all night. He felt so happy. He was finally with her and she was all his. Olivia Benson was going to be the mother of his child.. _I can't get any luckier_ he thought.

She moaned as he kissed her neck.. " Why did you choose that movie. You want me to have an abortion or what" He laughed at what she had just said.

"Don't you ever say that again" he said and started tickling her. Suddenly Nick's phone rang. Olivia was glad cause this was the only thing that stopped him from tickling her.

" It's Maria" he said and answered " Hello there". He listened for a few seconds to what the person n the other line said. " okay see ya"

" Everything okay?" Olivia asked still laying lazily on the couch.

" Yeah, Zara just wants to skype with me"

" Oh, that's so cute... my laptop is right there" she said pointing toward a box she had behind her TV. Nick turned it on and waited for Maria and Zara to get connected in skype.

" Hey Daddy" A voice of a young girl filled the room. Nick made a gesture in front of the laptop's camera so Zara could actually see.

" hello kiddo, how are you doing"

" I'm fine daddy I really miss you. When will you come here?"

Olivia looked at Nick and stroked his hand. She was still laying on the couch so Zara hadn't seen her yet.

" I hope soon honey..." he took a deep breath. " Hey Zara I want you to meet someone" he said and turned the laptop's camera abruptly at Olivia before she had anytime to move away.

" hey Zara" she said looking angry at Nick.

"Zara this is my partner Olivia, you remember her?"

" Hello Olivia! Yes daddy of course I do... why are you at her house?" The little girl asked. It was an innocent question that went out the little girl's mouth.

" Well Zara, Olivia is daddy's new girlfriend. Is that okay with you?"

" Yeap, as long as you won't forget me."

He laughed " I will never forget you or your mommy sweetie"

" Zara why don't you show daddy what your teacher gave to you" Maria said. Nick and Olivia saw Zara disappearing from the camera and appearing again a few seconds later with a piece of paper on her hands.

" Look daddy. It's a praise from my teacher for the art contest" She said full of joy.

Nick clapped for his daughter. " Congratulations kiddo"

"What did you draw Zara?" Olivia asked.

Zara show them her drawing. "We had to draw something we really want to have. And I drew this"

Nick looked at Olivia and Olivia back at him.

" And what is this honey?" Olivia asked again. On the paper there was something that was probably a little girl and a bigger one, with the drawing skills of a five year old.

" It's me and my little sister. That's what I want. A little sister" She said and her face dropped. " All my friends have brothers and sisters." Nick didn't like seeing his daughter like that so he decided to make her mood.

" You know what kiddo, Daddy and Olivia will have a baby in a few months. This will be your half brother or sister. And then you will be unique. You'll be the only one with a half-sibling. How does that sound?"

Zara brought up a huge smile.

" Really daddy?, Is it a boy or a girl?, how long do I have to wait?" Olivia burst into laughter with the little girl's questions. It was obvious that she was excited.

" The baby is too small to know if it is a boy or a girl, we will know in a few months. And if things go well you need to wait another eight months. But you can start telling your friends you'll have one" He told her.

Maria appeared again n the camera. She and Nick had a nice relationship and they had a great cooperation as parents." Nick we gotta sleep over here. Goodnight and congratulations to both of you. Bye!"

" Thank you Maria, bye girls!"

"Bye".

Nick turned off the laptop and took Olivia in his arms and moved to the bedroom

" I can walk" she complaint and laughed.

" I didn't question your walking abilities" He said and placed her on the bed. He turned off the light. " Goodnight Liv".

Next morning at 6:00 Nick woke up and noticed that Olivia wasn't on the bed. He reached for his slippers and went in the living room. She wasn't there either. He heard the toilet flush. Now he knew where she was. He made himself some coffee and waited for Olivia to come. Half an hour passed and she didn't came. Nick was about to go and see if she was alright when bathroom's door opened and she stepped out. She looked exhausted.

" Oh Liv, you look like hell. Come sit here" he said and stood up so she could sit.

" You surely know how to flatter a woman Amaro" She said holding a tower on her hand.

He rubbed her back. " how are you feeling ? You want me to give you some milk?" Olivia felt the nausea returning as she thought of milk and she rushed back in the toilet, only to return a few minutes later.

" Okay I got it. No milk" Nick said. " How long have you been up baby?"

" Since 4:30." She said and wiped her face with that towel. " Just let me die" she said. Nick felt sorry for her. She seemed so hopeless and weak when this nausea appeared. He hugged her and kissed her forehead.

" Why don't you make an appointment with your doc. Maybe there are some pills you can take"

Olivia shook her head. " No way I'm giving pills to my baby. I can stand this."

" Liv... I'm worried sick over here, I just want to help you" She kissed him.

" I know baby, this is not your fault. I can stand this, really. Come on let's get ready for work."

Nick and Olivia were the last to arrive. Even Elliot was there. Olivia was pale and looked like she didn't get any sleep at all. And everybody had noticed that. Olivia completely ignored Elliot. She had to calm her stomach now. Everything else could wait. Amanda brought her some blueberry juice.

" It reduces nausea feeling, it may help a little" she said and rubbed her back. Olivia kindly smiled at her although she wasn't in any mood for smiling.

" Olivia you sure you don't want personal time off for the rest of your pregnancy? You look like snow white only a little more white!" Fin said. The moment he stopped talking Cragen approached them.

" Time to sign over partners.." he said and then looked at Olivia.

"I'm fine" she said before he had the chance to talk, the words said with difficulty cause every time she opened her mouth nausea threatened to empty her stomach.

"The moment I feel you or little you are in any danger you're going home Liv." He said with a pretty strict tone. " Now. Rollins you ride with Fin, Amaro you ride with Olivia. John you ride with Elliot. And guys... behave yourselves.."

Nick and Elliot shared looks. Looks of jealousy and fear. Fear of losing that woman who was standing right there in front of them. Wondering who did she love the most. They didn't know though, that she loved both of them each one on his own special way.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys :) I found a few minutes today so I thought I should update ;) I don't like leaving you hanging. I wanna tell you again how much i appreciate and love your reviews. They are so... perfect!**

**I wanna remind you if u have any suggestions just let me know! i'm trying to satisfy you people ^^ **

**Read & Review much love :***

A few months had passed. Olivia was now 4 months along, her little bump betraying that she was pregnant. Those last 3 months were pretty weird. Her life with Nick was great. They got to spent time with each other and he was now actually living with her in her apartment. They would skype with Zara at least three times every week, bringing Olivia and Zara closer.

She even tried to be kind with Elliot, for old time's sake. They both avoided the painful conversation though, about how they both felt when he left. And she still hadn't forgiven him. There were absolutely not like before, but they'd share some talks. The only thing that hadn't changed at all was the feelings Nick had for Elliot, and Elliot for Nick.

Nick was sitting on his desk doing some paperwork when he's phone rang.

"Amaro... Wait what.. when did this happen? Maria uh...Okay.. Okay.. I'll call you in a while and let you know okay?". All the detectives were looking at him.

"Everything okay baby?" Olivia said as she stepped toward him. Elliot narrowed his eyes.. He couldn't help it but feel jealous of this guy. No because he was Olivia's boyfriend, he wasn't in love with her, for him she was his best friend, but because she loved him.

" Um... That was Maria..Z..Zara had an accident.." he said and he ran his hands through his hair.

" Oh God is she okay?" Olivia said rubbing his shoulder, trying to comfort him.

" She needs to have a surgery for her broken leg and says she's afraid to do it unless I'm with her and said she wants me to stay with her for a while." Olivia looked him in the eyes.

" Don't even think about it! Go be with her... and stay there for as long as she needs you. You're her father..."

Nick, thrilled with what his pregnant girlfriend had just said crushed his lips on hers for a passionate kiss. He continued the kiss for as long as his lungs allowed him to.

" What did I do to deserve you?" he said. She smiled at him.

" Come on, go ask Cragen for a couple of weeks off" She said and playfully punched his arm.

Nick returned a few minutes later looking kind of sad.

" Don't tell me he didn't let you" Fin said.

Nick stopped in front of Olivia's desk and stared at her. She was pale, and seemed weaker. His previous wife, Maria had a bad pregnancy with Zara but what Olivia was going through was beyond bad. He took her hands in his massaging them with his thumb.

" No it's not that. I'm just... I don't wanna leave you alone Liv... you sure you don't wanna come with me?"

It was now Olivia's turn to kiss him. She pulled his collar bringing him closer to her and placed a kiss on his lips.

" I'll be fine baby, just go be with your daughter.. I'll be fine.. We'll be fine" He placed his hand on her small bump and smiled at her.

" Go" she said once again. He let her and looked at Elliot.

" Just take care of her..please" he said. Elliot nodded at him.

Nick then said goodbye to everyone and left.

The first night in the last three months Olivia slept alone was difficult. She couldn't help it but think of Nick all the time. What was he doing now, Was he tired, sad, happy, worried. How could she help him when he was far away. Was he thinking of her like she was thinking of him? She closed her eyes and imagined him being there, next to her...That's when she finally fell asleep...

Next morning a new case knocked SVU 's door.

" We have a new case guys." Cragen said.

" I'll go" Olivia offered.

" I'd rather not. It'd be better if Munch and Elliot take this case"

Olivia raised an eyebrow. " Captain I can do it without Nick. I'm not handicapped. I'm just pregnant"

" And that's why I'm not letting you go Liv. The body belongs to a pregnant woman, who by the time of her death, wasn't pregnant anymore. Her baby was teared up from her inside."

" Oh God..." Amanda said and stepped closer to Olivia knowing how much this must have hurt her. Olivia closed her eyes and covered them with her hand. She stayed like that for a few seconds...

" Liv you're okay?" Amanda said, taking another step towards her.

" She's gonna fall" Elliot shouted, jumping from his desk to catch her. " Liv, Liv..." He shouted. "Call a bus" he shouted again. Amanda immediately picked up her phone and called for an ambulance.

Olivia opened her eyes. Amanda was standing next to her holding her hand.

" Hey Livvie. You had as worried for a moment" she said rubbing her hand.

" What happened.." she uttered.

" You fainted at the precinct. Give me a minute I'll go tell the doctor you're awake"

Olivia grabbed Amanda's hand. " Amie, don't call Nick. I don't want him rushing back for this." Amanda gently smiled at her and went to call the doctor. It's then when Elliot stepped in.

" Hey Liv, how are you feeling?" he said and handing her a bouquet of lilies.

" Hey there, Mmm those are very beautiful, thanks." She said and placed the bouquet on the table next to her bed.

" Did the doctor come?" he asked, and sat on her bed, by her side.

" No Amanda just went out to tell her I'm awake". She said. She sounded weak.

A few minutes later Amanda returned with the doctor.

" Hello Olivia, I'm Dr Smith. How are you feeling?"

" Tired.." Olivia answered bitterly.

" I see. Olivia, I can see that you're on your what,17th week?" Olivia nodded. " Your friends here told me that you'd been suffering from nausea. When was the last time you ate something, something that actually stayed in your stomach for more than two hours?"

Olivia thought for a while." I don't know..I guess... last Wednesday... I didn't have this nausea feeling for two days in row, I thought it was finally gone. But.. I guess it didn't"

Elliot widen his eyes " Last Wednesday? Liv you kidding me?" Olivia looked at him with a tiring look, not answering though.

" I could have guessed something similar, your stomach is completely empty,your blood sugar is low, fluids in your body, low too. In spite of all these, to our surprise, your baby is completely healthy. I can't tell the same for you though. I'm gonna give you some advice that may help you through the rest of your pregnancy. The father should pay attention to this too" She said looking at Elliot.

Olivia chuckled. " No, no he's not the father, he's just my co-worker. The father is... working.." She said. She wasn't going to explain it all now.

" Okay, so your co-workers can hear too. But I'm warning you Olivia, the rest of your pregnancy won't be the best possible,you need to take it easy" Olivia nodded and heard to what the doctor had to tell her.

A few hours later Olivia was released and Elliot had offered to give her a ride. He stopped in front of her apartment.

" Elliot, why are we here! You were supposed to take me to the precinct"

He gave her a smile. " Captain said you should take the rest of the day off. Don't argue that Liv"

She pulled out a face.

" No don't pull this face on me Liv it's not working..."

" You stubborn son of a bitch." She said and punched his arm playfully and got out of the car.

" And Liv... take some rest!" He said and drove off. She laughed as she remembered how Elliot was always so protective and worried for her.

She stepped in her apartment, threw her bag on the floor, taking only her phone and laid on her couch. She decided to text Nick.

_'Hey! How are you doing daddy? :)'_

She waited no more than a couple for minutes and her phone vibrated.

_' Hey babe! I'm doing okay. So sorry for not calling you yesterday when I arrived. I had a pretty rough night with Zara. How are you doing?_

_She immediately text him back._

_' Don't apologize! Well I won't lie to you, something happened this morning but I don't want you coming back for nothing!'_

She read his answer a few moments ago

'Skype now'

Olivia reached for her i-pad and turned it on. She heard the familiar noise from Skype and answered Nick's call.

"Hey there!" She said. He looked serious, or more.. worried. "Come on don't be like that" She said and made him a face.

" Liv... just tell me what happened" He said not breaking his serious look.

She sighed."I just got dizzy and fainted, nothing to make a big deal out of"

" Oh God Liv, you serious? Nothing to make a big deal out of?. How did this even happen... I shouldn't have left.." he said and dropped his face in his hands.

" Nick, Nick... relax okay?.. I'm fine look at me... I just need to be a little more careful. Doctor gave me some advice a few vitamins, everything will be okay." She tried to reassure him. But she was scared herself. Even though she didn't want others to know that . She had a very bad feeling.

" I think I should come back Liv... I feel so useless... I'm sure Zara will understand."

" No, Nick. Seriously stay with your daughter okay? I'm already feeling better really...please just... stay with your daughter.. she needs you."

" You Benson... You can do whatever you want with me you know that?" He said and smiled. She smiled back.

" I miss you already" She whispered.

" I miss you too baby" He said. Olivia could see through the camera that someone was now talking to him. " Liv, listen um.. I need to go. Zara's out of surgery. I'll message you later. Love you.."

" Love you too."

She put the I pad on the floor with an abrupt move, and she felt a small, cute pain on her upper belly. She was worried for a second but then she just laughed as she made herself comfortable on the couch and rubbed her belly. _I never imagined I'll be so happy when someone kicks me_ she thought and closed her eyes.

She opened her eyes when she heard her bell ringing. It was dark outside. She must have fallen asleep.

" I'm coming" she shouted and headed for the door. She opened and was actually glad to see Elliot and Amanda. " Oh hey guys.. please come in" They both stepped in.

" We woke you up didn't we?" Amanda said.

" Yeah but it's okay..."

" We thought you might be up for some monopoly?" Elliot said. Olivia chucked. Monopoly? Seriously? This guy knew how to make her mood.

" Sure." She answered. Amanda prepared the board-game and Elliot opened the bag he had with him.

" We also brought you food" He said. He took out the two plastic bowls with Chinese food. Olivia immediately grabbed one.

" No,no,no, Liv that's not for you. This is." He said and handed her over another cup.

" Low-fat yoghurt? You kidding me?" She made a serious face. Both Elliot and Amanda shook their heads. Olivia rolled her eyes. " You two are gonna eat Chinese and the pregnant woman is gonna it a low-fat yoghurt?" They both nodded again, and laughed at each other. She scoffed.

"One cup of low-fat yogurt has more calcium than milk, is high in protein, and doesn't have the added sugar of flavored yogurts that means that it's perfect for you... pregnant woman" He told her wryly.

" I can't even imagine what Kathy had to go through when she was pregnant" She said and finally pulled away the serious face, replacing it with a smile.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys :) I saw you were kinda worried with the last chapter and you're gonna get worried probably for the next few chapters but I hope you will still read my story. Thank you for reading again **

** my English mistakes for once again. it's not my mother tongue so I find it very difficult to write. )**

**Review please! :) Enjoy!**

Olivia was in front of the mirror putting on some mascara. It was now the tenth day that Nick was at D.C. It was also the day they were supposed to find out the sex of their baby. She didn't remind Nick in any of their web-chats that date. According to Olivia, Zara still needed him there, he was away from his daughter for too long a few more days with him there wouldn't hurt anyone. Amanda had kindly offered to usher her and she had accepted the offer.

They were now in Amanda's car. Olivia had her hands rested on her bump continuously staring at it. Amanda noticed that and smiled.

"You seem excited"

" Maybe I am a little" She said a huge smiled drawn on her face.

" I just love seeing you so happy Liv." She said as she parked the car. " Here we are." They got out of the car and entered the building, heading for the elevator. Olivia's doctor welcomed them and leaded them in the room where Olivia was going to have the ultrasound. She laid on the bed-like-thing and lifted her blouse up exposing her belly. She bristled as the cold gel touched her bare skin. Jain – her doctor- smiled at her reaction.

" I should have warned you" she said.  
" Doctor can I ask you something?" Amanda said as the doctor ran the weird thing on Olivia's belly.

" Sure honey and please call me Jain" The elder woman said.

" You sure there's only one baby in there?" Olivia chuckled at her friend's question and so did Jain.

" Why is that question..-"

" Oh it's Amanda! Well I noticed.. Olivia's bump had grown bigger the last ten days than the past four months" Olivia laughed again and pushed Amanda back, playfully, pretending to be offended.

" Well as far as I can see here no, there is not only one baby!"

Olivia widen her eyes. " What?" she almost screamed.

" Well Olivia it must have escaped me the first time, but as you can see her we have two babies" She said and pointed with her finger on the screen. "You had any kicks yet ?" she added.

" Yeah doc, I actually had my first one a little more than a week ago and since then it's just getting worse" She said and laughed, still shocked from the announcement.

Jain laughed."Let's see.." She said and pressed some buttons. " Everything seems okay Olivia... you have two healthy girls in there." She added.

" Girls huh" Olivia said a little bit thrilled. " Can you get me a pic from the ultrasound? I wanna have something to show to Nick when he's back"

" Sure sweetie." Jain pressed a few more buttons. And gave Olivia some paper to clean her belly. Amanda gently took it from Olivia to help her clean it.

" Before I forget it.. How's your nausea been Olivia?" Olivia fixed her blouse and gently rubbed her belly.

" Better, much better."

Jain smiled. "You noticed anything that got you worried maybe?" Olivia looked at Amanda and Amanda back at her with wide eyes.

" Well, some sharp abdominal pains.. occasionally.."

" Olivia! You never told me that!" Amanda complaint.  
" Well I didn't cause you would have reacted like it was a big deal"

" Actually Olivia it is a big deal... Can you elucidate the word "occasionally?" Jain said narrowing her eyes.

" Well it can happen in random times during the day"

" Every day?" Jain asked again. She sounded a little bit more concerned now. Olivia nodded.

" And maybe those pains go with pains on your lower back?" Olivia nodded again.

" Should I start freaking out?" She said.

" Um.. I don't know Olivia. Your symptoms are pretty serious. It can just be because you're having twins, and its much more difficult for your body to carry two babies but... it can be placental abruption. Unfortunately there's no way to diagnose this. We need to wait a little more. If it's placental abruption, it usually causes sudden bleeding, it's the most common symptom. You see anything like that contact me immediately okay?"

" Yeah, okay.." She said, now scared herself. She and Amanda walked away.

" You want me to take you home Liv?" Olivia shook her head.

" No. Precinct is fine" She said not saying another word till they arrived at the precinct.

As soon as they arrived Olivia took her I-pad and headed for the cribs hoping that Nick was logged in in Skype.

" Hey Livvie" he said.

" Hey Olivia!" Zara's voice covered Olivia's ears.

" Hey there!" She seemed downcast and he noticed.

" Everything okay babe?"

" Yeah I um.. I just got back from the doctor's. It's nice to tell you that we're having two baby-girls."

He smiled at her announcement. " Oh Damn it, Liv i'm so sorry. How could I not be there for this appointment. I totally suck.. Wait what? Two? You said two? You got twins in there Liv?" Olivia nodded.

" I'm having two sisters?" Zara said and started shouting happy shouts.

" Yeah you do" She said forcing a smile. "I also forgot to mention you've missed the first kick already, and many more of course"

" Damn it.. Is that why you're sad Liv?" She shook her head.

" No.. it's just..the doctor said.. there my be something wrong.. Either just a difficult pregnancy because of the twins or Placental abruption, but we have to wait for a little more till we know for sure." She tried to seem brave, but Nick saw the fear in her eyes.

" Ah Zara, why don't you go show your mommy how much better you're doing with those crutches?" The little girl nodded and slowly disappeared. " Liv, don't worry.. Everything will be okay right? In a few months we'll be holding our daughters and everything will be just perfect okay? I don't want to see you sad babe.." She smiled at him.

" I don't wanna be sad either Nick but.. I'm less than five months pregnant and this is the second problem occurred.. I'm just getting a little scared"

" I know honey. I know it's not easy and I really wish I could take all your fear and your pain I just want you to be happy Liv. That's all that matters to me.. you.."

_I just wish you were here_ she thought.

" Yeah okay..I uh..I need to go now.." she uttered.

" Liv...I love you..."

" Love you too" She said and turned her i-pad off.

" Guys, we have another victim" Cragen said. It was the first thing she heard as she stepped in the room. She sighed.

" Another pregnant-now-not-pregnant-woman?" She asked. She knew the answer but deep inside she wished it wasn't what she thought. It was actually the seventh victim. She also knew there was only one chance to catch this guy and had told it to Cragen but he repeatedly refused it. He refused to use her as a bait to catch him but he also knew he didn't have many options. They knew who the guy was but had no clues so, no case. He was a counselor at a single-mothers program all those women were or used to be part of.

When Cragen nodded to her question she felt like she was stabbed n the heart.

" Captain you gotta let me do this.. please.." She begged.

" We've already been through this Olivia I'm not risking your nor your baby's life!"

" You mean babies'!" she corrected him.

" You're having twins Liv?" Elliot asked surprised. She nodded.

" But that's not our problem... just... think about it cap, it's our only chance to nail this bastard. Otherwise he'd keep killing women.." Cragen took his time and thought about it. She was once again right. He didn't want to risk her life but he couldn't stand it having all those pregnant women killed.

" This will be perfectly organized and we'll be a few steps behind you 24/7." he finally said. Olivia nodded as she listened to his plan.

Olivia stepped in the old building.. she stopped by the secretary's office.

" Hello I'm Amaya Williams, I'm a new member in the single-mothers program." She said using the undercover name they had chosen for her.

" Let me check.. your program starts in five minutes miss Williams. It's the last door on the left"

" Thank you" She said and headed for the door. She took a deep breath and rubbed her belly when she felt a hard kick " Calm down girls, Mum's trying to do her job now." She whispered.

She opened the door and found dozens of women pregnant or with little babies sitting on the ground on a circle. She sat next to them and waited till Max -the man who was their killer and also those mothers' counselor- appeared.

" Let's check.. Wow we have a new member in our company" He said. Olivia felt his eyes looking all the way on her body. " You wanna introduce yourself?"

All she wanted to do actually was kick the hell out of him but she tried to keep calm so she wouldn't blow the whole plan. She forced a smile at him. " Hey, I'm Amaya I'm 39 years old. And I work as a maid."

He stepped behind her and knelt massaging her back. " You're doing great Amaya wanna tell us how you got pregnant and alone?" Olivia took another deep breath as she continued.

" Well there's nothing interesting to say. I got in a relationship with my boss, stupid me thought he'd leave his family for me, he said he would. I guess he didn't really mean it. He was just looking for a way to get in my pants" Max lowered his hand stopping were the top of her jeans was, from behind her so no one would actually see him, and ran his fingers on her skin, keeping his other on her shoulder " Don't worry Amaya, it's not your fault."

The rest of the so-called "counseling" passed slowly with Olivia struggling not to kill this guy as he touched her. She got out of the building. It was dark. She pretending to be fixing her hair and talked to her captain through the mc she had on her hand.

" Captain I'm on the move" she said.

" Got it Liv. We're right behind you" the person n the other line said. Olivia sighed as she started walking quickly n the dark alley. She heard footsteps behind her and she felt the bits of her heart getting quicker and quicker.

" Liv, slow down we're losing you" She heard Cragen telling her. She didn't really slow down though. Suddenly she felt a hand over her stomach and a knife on her throat.

" Don't you dare to scream" the man from behind her said. He pushed her down, her hands wrapped protectively around her belly as she fell. She hit her forehead on a brick, it caused bleeding but she could stand it. She fought back by kicking his stomach.

" You little bitch" he said. He immobilized her hands with his one hand and her legs by stepping on them. He covered her mouth with his hand as she screamed in pain. He got his knife pressed against her belly. He was about to move it, so as to cut her belly but he suddenly fell down. It's then when Olivia saw Elliot kicking him and handcuffing him and Amanda helped her out.

" You okay Liv?" Olivia who was still in shock just nodded. " Come on there's an ambulance waiting for us right n the corner let's go and check you out"...

..." Your stitches are done detective" the paramedic said as he took the needle away from her forehead. " I'd say you'd better not sleep for the next twelve hours in case of a concussion." She sighed as she stepped out of the ambulance. Cragen was there.

" Olivia the interrogation can wait till tomorrow." He said when he saw her tiring look.

" No, no let's get it over with" She said pushing her hair back.

The drive back at the precinct was long. Or at least it seemed long for Olivia. She kept rubbing her belly. The babies were hyperactive, she couldn't blame them with what had just happened.

When she arrived at the precinct, Max was already in the interrogation room waiting.

" I tried to talk to him Liv, he says he only talks to the pregnant cop" Elliot said as he patted her shoulder.

" You sure you wanna get in there Liv?" Cragen asked.

" Yeah" She answered briskly and opened the door. " Hello Max.. remember me?" She said ironically.

" Hello Amaya. Nice to see you again."

" It's detective Benson" she said and sat on the chair. " So.. you better start talking"

" I have nothing to say. I'm innocent"

" Yeah? Is this why you attacked me?"

" What can I say detective. I found you really attractive, couldn't keep my boy in my pants" Olivia rolled her eyes and stood up tossing the pictures of the dead women in front of him.

" And what about them? Their babies were stamped out from them. You wanna explain it?"

Max laughed. " I got nothing to explain detective. But you wanna hear something? I can totally imagine how this could have happened. How the guy who did it must have stuck the knife into this women bellies...cut them slowly off as they screamed. How much blood must have been around at that time. Hm.. and you know what the best part must have been? How they were slowly dying with the view of their babies being forcibly removed from them."

Olivia swallowed hard. She knew he was messing with her and he was doing it great. He was using the details of his kills but not saying he did it.

" What about you.. how far along are you detective? Five months?" She stood up and ran for the bathroom. This guy made her feel sick. He saw the hate in his eyes, and the willing to cut her off right that moment if he could. She returned back but Cragen stopped her for getting in again as Elliot had already taken her place.

" _We searched your apartment and found your little trophies you had on your garden"_

She heard Elliot saying to the guy.

" The babies.." she whispered. Cragen nodded. " Oh my God, this can't be true" she said and covered her mouth, looking away. Did he actually do that? He kept the unborn children as trophies? This was way too sick.

" Liv, we got him for good. Why don't you go home? Take some rest."

" I think I should" She said and moved to her desk and grabbed her coat making her way out of the precinct. Cragen was kinda shocked by her answer. She would have normally refused his suggestion. So that probably meant she more than needed to take some rest.

Amanda saw Olivia leaving and ran behind her.

"Liv wait, wait a minute."

Olivia turned her head. She was obviously tired and her face was covered with a weird look. Could it be sadness? Worry? She couldn't tell.

" I've got this for you." She said and passed her over the bag. Olivia opened it and started at it in amazement. It was a cute pink Knit-romper with a phrase-stamp on it " I love my mum". Olivia smiled as she read it. " I just saw it on the mall and I immediately thought of you. It'd be perfect for your daughter. I didn't know you're having twins though, that's why it's only one" She said and smiled at her.

" I think it's adorable" She answered flatly, but obviously touched by her co-worker's kindness. She snorted and hugged Amanda, holding her deep in her arms. "How can you always make my mood" She whispered to her. Olivia was stunned. This person's goodness was the only thing keeping her sane when difficult days would come, especially now that Nick was away.

Amanda smiled. All she wanted was to make others happy. Especially Olivia. She felt like Olivia was her older sister, the connection between them made her feel in a way she never felt with her own sister.

" Just..go get some rest Livvy and I'll see you tomorrow."

Olivia nodded. " Oh Amie, if you could just do me a favor... and tell Elliot I'm okay? I'm sure he'll overreact once he's done with this interrogation."

Amanda chuckled. " Don't worry about that" she replied.

Olivia was right. As soon as Elliot stepped out of the interrogation room he looked for her.

" She went home, told me to tell you she's okay" Amanda told him.

" Okay thank you Amanda.. I doubt this "okay" though."

" Well I guess you just need to trust her Elliot."

He chuckled. " I do trust her. I just need to make sure she's okay myself."

" That means no trust!" She said as she stood up ready to leave.

" You're leaving?" He asked. She nodded. " Let me drop you. It's not safe for a young woman to walk on her own at this time, especially a pretty one like you."

She laughed. "You feeling lonely Stabler?" She said ironically.

" Nah, I'm just taking care of my co-workers. Come on. I won't take a no as an answer"

Amanda laughed again and followed him in his car. On their way to Amanda's home he managed to talk her into going for a couple of drinks on the bar across her apartment.

" I can't even believe I let you drag me here" She said.

" Well what can I say. You should blame my charm."

Soon the barman came " What can I get you?" He said constantly looking at Amanda.

"_A _flavor-filled chocolate martini please" She said. Elliot widen his eyes.

"You really gonna drink this? You'll wake up with a terrible headache." She narrowed her eyes.

"Don't say that I didn't warn you." He said. " Bloody-Mary works for me, thank you" he said giving the barman the sign that he's staring was impolite.

"So what brings you back Elliot?"

" Hm.. I don't know, I guess I missed this job. I missed Olivia. Besides, I'm getting my counseling, I have every reason to be back, don't I? She nodded.

" Absolutely...but you're not being completely honest are you Stabler?"

He chuckled. " Well you can't know that unless I tell you. So I guess you just need to trust me."

" Got ya" She said and took a sip.

" What about you.. What's your story?"

" I transferred here from Atlanta"

"Why?" He asked looking in her eyes.

" Well, You know Olivia's been my role model for a long time. When I actually saw the opportunity to go and work with her I just grabbed it!"

"Okay, it works for me" he said as she smiled at him.

" You really care about her don't you?"

"She's my life.." He answered staring at his glass.

Once they were done Elliot ushered Amanda to the frond door of her building.

" Thank you for the company Elliot, I can tell I had a wrong opinion for ya"

" Yeah, what was that ?" He asked with a seductive tone.

" I thought you were an impolite jackass." He made a grin.

" And what do you think now?" He said stepping closer to her.

" I think you're only a jackass." She said.

" Goodnight to you too blondie" He said and headed for his car.

" Don't call me like that Stabler" she shouted and smiled at him as she stepped into the building...


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey there :) **

**Again I think you're gonna hate me :$ But i promise N/O will get back to normal n the next few chapters. Tell me if u don't like sth.. I just have sth n my mind too. **

**Read and PLEASE Review! 3 **

**Love ya all **

Olivia got out of the elevator and headed for her apartment's door. She heard a noise from the inside and she pulled out her gun as she unlocked the door. Her jaw dropped at the sight. The whole floor was covered with small red candles that were leading toward the living room. She followed them. The living room was decorated with more of them. There was no lighting except the candles. On the table there were two glasses and a bottle of wine, and next to them a small envelope. She slowly moved and took it out, reading it. There was nothing more but a sentence.

" You will never be alone... I love you"

She felt two hands hugging her from behind.

" I thought you'd never come home" a man's voice said. Olivia turned her head and saw Nick, dressed in one of those sexy shirts of his,looking hotter than ever. His cologne drove her crazy. She immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug.

" When did you get here?" she said.

" Right after I heard you being so scared on skype" he said and kissed her lips. It was a gentle kiss,full of love and promises. " I missed you so much" he whispered.

" You can't even imagine how much I missed you" She said hugging him tighter. Like someone was trying to steal him from her. Like he was leaving again. He stroked the back of her head as he held her tight, her head resting on his shoulder. He leaned on and kissed her forehead. It's then that he noticed the stitches she had.

" What's this?" He asked. His voice always low and soft, as he gently touched it, carefully not to hurt her.

" I had an accident at work." She answered. He could barely hear her, her voice was too weak.

" What accident?" He asked again. A sob escaped from her as she pulled back the memories from earlier. Nick noticed that. He wiped away the tears that threatened to fall. " It's okay babe, it's okay... you'll tell me some other time.. Just not tonight.." he reassured her and smiled at her. He leaded her on the couch and took off her coat and her shoes. He then filled the glasses with wine, Olivia's less than the half due to the fact that she was pregnant. He laid on the couch and Olivia laid on him taking her glass of wine.

" To our daughters, our love, our family, our eternity together" He said and chinked his glass with hers.

" To our love" she repeated again and took a sip. She chuckled as the wine reached her stomach.

" What? What is it?" Nick said and smiled at her. She took his hand and placed it on her belly.

"She's kicking... at least one of them." Olivia said. Nick felt so happy as he felt his daughter kicking again. Olivia let out a gasp as her daughter kicked her again, harder. " Nick, can I ask you something?" She said,her head on his chest now as he was running slowly his fingers on her arm,caressing her.

" Yeah Livvie. Anything"

" Did you mean it? I mean a while ago you said to our eternity together. You mean it?" He could see it. It was obvious. Olivia was feeling insecure. Pregnancy's hormones were surely to be blamed but he also thought it might have something to do with what she went through in work today, fact that he didn't know yet. He kissed the top of her head and rested his hands on her bump, gently massaging her.

" I mean every single word I say Livvie. Especially to you. If I could stay with you for more than an eternity, I would.."

"Okay" she said and snuggled up to him, relaxing in his arms. His answer was enough for her.

Nick just stared at her for the next few moments. She looked so peaceful, so precious, so perfect. " Nick.." she whispered.

" Yeah Livvie"

"I'm not supposed to sleep for the next 11 hours, can you do something for this?"

" I can keep telling you how much I love you, how much I missed you.. and how big your belly has grown those days." She gently laughed with the few powers they were left in her.

" Is this a way to tell me that I got fat?" she said and raise her head so as to face him. He kissed her nose.

"No, it's a way to tell you that everyday that passes, we're closer and closer to the day, that we'll hold our daughters."

"Hm" She said. She moved uncomfortably, changing her position. She was now just sitting on the couch.

" Everything okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, I just.. I think I won't drink any wine again for the rest of my pregnancy. They've been moving too much since that sip reached my stomach." She said and stroked her tummy.

" I think they just need their daddy" He said and took her hands away, replacing them with his as he moved them in small circles. Olivia widen her eyes as she felt them slowly stopping.

" How did you do that?" She said surprised.

" Zara was hyperactive too, I just remembered that this had worked for her. Obviously it works for our daughters too"

" You'll keep surprising me won't ya" She said covered his hands which were still resting on her tummy, with hers and caressed them.

" Yeah I will" He placed a sweet kiss on her lips. " Oh, I almost forgot it. Liv, can Zara stay with us for a few days? She just asked me that and I told her I'd ask you"

" Absolutely" She answered." And it might be good at idea if the three of us go to the park for some pic-nik tomorrow"

He smiled at her statement. "This is an amazing idea Liv, I'll message Cragen to let him know you're not going tomorrow, I still have a couple of days off anyways."

Non of them slept that night. As soon as the twelve hours were over Olivia fell asleep immediately. Nick got ready and went to take Zara from the airport. He told her the plans he and Olivia had made for later that day and they two of them went for some shopping.

" Daddy, daddy look at this" She said and pointed her finger at a storefront. Nick looked at where his daughter was pointing. It was a yellow Knit-Romper with the phrase " I love my dad" He chuckled as he remembered seeing what Amanda bought for Olivia this morning.

" You think we should take it for your baby sis?"

" Yeaaaah!" She answered full of excitement.

They stepped in and found the clerk.

" How can I help you" She kindly asked.

" Hi, we um.. we just want this Knit-romper on the storefront the one that says " I love my dad" The clerk smiled.

" Sure.. what color? We got it in blue, green, yellow and pink"

" Yellow" Zara shouted. The clerk stroked her head.

" Yellow it is then" She disappeared and appeared a few seconds later with the cloth.

" That'd be fifteen bucks." She said. Nick passed her twenty.

"keep the change" he said and slowly stepped out with Zara struggling to move quicker with her crutches.

After shopping a few more things they returned at home around 16:00. Olivia was still sleeping.

" Can I go and wake her up daddy? I wanna show her what we bought!"

" Okay kiddo just be careful not to scare her okay, we should keep her calm and not stress her"

" Daddy, I'm a big girl!" She said and slowly walked away with her crutches. She opened the bedrooms door and sat on the bed next to Olivia. She kissed her cheek. Olivia slowly opened her eyes and blinked a few times. She smiled when she understood that Zara was the one standing in front of her. " Hey Livvie" She said and fell on her for a hug. Olivia hugged her and rubbed her back.

" Hey kiddo, I'm so glad to see you are here!"

Zara gave her a smile. " Thank you for letting me come Livvie"

" Don't ever say that sweetie you can come and stay here for as long as you want." She said and kissed her forehead. " How's your leg going?"

" It hurts a little. But my doctor said I'll be okay soon. But look how good i'm doing Livvie" She said and started walking all the room with her crutches. Olivia laughed.

"You're doing really great Zara."

"Thank you! Oh Livvie, look. Me and dad bought this." she took the Knit-romper they had bought earlier and showed it to her.

" Aw.. that's so cute Zara was it your idea?" She said and changed from a laying positing to sitting. Zara nodded.

" Hello girls" Nick said as he stepped into the room. He gently kissed Olivia's lips. "How are you feeling Liv?"

Olivia smiled at him. " I'm fine, as long as your daughters are sleeping"

He chuckled. " You hungry girls? I made us some artisan-omelette."

"I am" Olivia said and made a duck-face. Zara smiled and Olivia grabbed her and started tickling her. "You laughing at me?, huh..." she said and kept tickling her.

They both stood up and followed Nick in the kitchen after a tickling-fight.

"It smells freaking great Nick" She said as she filled her lungs with that smell. They sat, Zara on Olivia's lap.

" Livvie, you don't arrest people today?" Olivia choked on as she laughed the same time she swallowed, and started coughing. She laughed because of the way Zara determined her job.

"You okay babe?" Nick asked and passed her the water. She took a sip.

" Yeah..." She said laughing. " No Zara, I don't have to work today. I have the day off so I can go to the park with you and your daddy." She answered and took Zara from her lap and placed her on the chair as she stood up. "I'm gonna have a bath I'll wash the dishes afterwards"

"No, no Liv, me and Zara will wash them right Zara?" Nick said as he caressed his daughter hand.

" Yes daddy, we can do them!"

"Thank you guys" Olivia said and headed for the bathroom. She took her clothes off and filled the bath with hot water. She stepped in and sighed hard when she felt her daughters moving as soon as the hot water touched them. " Damn you Olivia..." she said to herself. "It's okay girls go back to sleep" She added, hopping they'd listen to her. Of course they didn't. She tried the thing Nick had done the previous night and rubbed small circles. But it didn't work. She was happy to see that her daughters were moving, it was a sign that everything was okay but she also hated it cause sometimes it really hurt her. " Oh come on" she uttered. Nick opened the door and laughed as he stepped closer.

"You talking to yourself babe?"

Olivia sighed again. " No, your daughters are awake, wide awake obviously and your little trick from last night is not working.."

Nick laughed again." Let me" he said. He knelt on the floor and put his hand n the hot water resting them on her belly as he started rubbing the small circles again. They didn't fully stop but they were calmer.

" Oh God, what's your secret Amaro..." She said, pissed that her effort didn't work but Nick's did.

" Nothing.. No secret Livvie.." He moved his hands on her shoulders massaging them. " Relax now okay... relax.." She moaned at his touch."I'm gonna get Zara ready for our walk and tidy the house a little bit till you get ready okay?"

"Okay" she said. She pulled his tie and kissed him resting one of her hands on his shoulder. She gently kissed his top lip, and then his bottom. She placed both her lips on both his and she opened her mouth, so did he. She brushed her tongue against his and gradually deepened the kiss. She felt her heart ready to explode. The love she felt about this man couldn't be described with words, nor a kiss, nor even sex. Everytime she was with him nothing else mattered. Olivia wasn't a pathetic person who needed someone with her. She was a fighter, always on her own, but now she was deeply in love and it felt great. She broke the kiss when she heard Zara calling him from the next room."Go" she said.

A little less than an hour later they left their apartment and went to the park. They sat under a tree near the playground and set their pic-nik basket.

" When did we get a pic-nik basket?" Olivia asked as she remembered they didn't own one.

" This morning" Nick answered. They both sat down. Fresh air, kids running all around with their families, playing.. Olivia was completely stunned. In about four months she'll have her own children and the man of her life. Everything will be perfect then. Right?

Zara dressed on her light blue dress,was silently playing with her dolls and Olivia was relaxing on Nick's arms. She had her eyes closed for more than an hour now,listening to natures sounds. Birds, kids, trees' leafs, Zara's whispering as she pretending that her dolls were talking to each other, Nick's light breathing, as she felt him expire on her ruffled hair. Now she was sure. It was perfect. But perfect moments don't last forever, and hers was soon ended by a sharp pain. She wriggled immediately and touched her belly were the sharp pain had been.

" Liv.." Nick shouted. Zara seemed kind of scared.

" What's wrong daddy?" She said, her eyes filled with fear.

" It's okay Nick, I'm okay..it's gone.." She said,but another pain hit her again as she screamed. The couple that was siting near them rushed to them as soon as they saw the scene.

"Everything okay?" the man asked. The woman who was with him, was pregnant too, and was holding another child that seemed to be two years old max"

" No she's just having those pains.." Nick said in panic.

"Contractions?" the woman asked.

" No, no she's barely five months along. I don't know .. she's just.. having them sometimes.."

"Nick, I'm fine, honestly" She said between deep breaths as she was calming down." I'm fine, everything's fine, I overreacted" she added, hopefully he'd just let it go. That's what she hoped for.

"Ma'am, I'm not a gynecologist nor a obstetrician but, I'd say you should go to the hospital and get checked."

Olivia took another deep breath and hugged Zara who was still scared.

" Thank you for the advice sir, but honestly I'm okay. I've already talked with my OB/GYN just yesterday, everything's okay really"

"Liv.." Nick said but Olivia put a finger on his mouth.

"I just want some water." He reached for the water bottle and gave it to her. He looked at the couple.

"Thank you so much for your help sir"

"Don't even mention it.. I wish you all the best" They said and returned back.

They were a few minutes of silence till Olivia broke it.

"I'm sorry.." she whispered.

"NO, Liv no don't even go there..you know it's not your fault" He said, his voice barely raised.

" I just.. I didn't want to destroy our first time as a family with Zara."

" I know you didn't , I know you didn't want to. I understand that Liv. I just wished you'd listen to me once and go to the damn hospital! I'm their father, its not like I don't care for you or those babies"

Olivia looked at him shocked. He was kinda shouting but this wasn't what hurt her. Did he mean that she didn't care for those babies or what?

" I didn't say you don't care Nick, but you think I don't care about them? There's just no need to go to this damn hospital, I told you I'm okay! Can't you just trust me? I wouldn't do anything to hurt them and you know that!" She shouted back, but still in a way that it wouldn't make the whole park stare at them.

"Maybe you're not doing it on purpose"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She sounded more angry now.

" Come on Liv, you know you're too stubborn to admit something is wrong even if it actually is! You wouldn't tell me even if you were dying in pain!" Raised voices still up.

" You son-of-a-bitch. You think I'd put my self before our babies? That's what you think about me... It's good to know!" She stood up so as to go but Zara's scared voice stopped her.

"Daddy,Livvie..don't fight" Olivia sighed and knelt with difficulty, her daughters again kicking the hell out of her.

" It's okay Zara, it's okay honey.. Stay with daddy okay?" She said and kissed her forehead. She then stood up again and started walking away.

" Just wait, I'll give you the car keys" he said.

" No I.. I'll just walk" Was the last thing she told him as she disappeared.

It was just last night, the two of them had a romantic time together, that they took a sip for their eternity together. It was just this morning that she felt happier than ever, few moments ago that she could swear she was living a perfect moment.

And now everything seemed so wrong... She kept walking and walking till she reached her destination. She rang the bell of the house that was right in frond of her. A blond woman opened the door.

"Olivia, hey..Come on in.." Kathy said and widely opened the door for her. " Haven't seen you in a while.. Elliot told me about you though.. but it's really great to see you again" She added.

Olivia didn't say anything. She sat on the sofa and then she opened her mouth and mouthed a few words. " Kathy, is Elliot here yet?"

Kathy got a little worried. " Not yet Olivia but I can call him right now okay? I'm gonna call him" Olivia just nodded. Kathy returned a few seconds later. " he's gonna be here in two minutes" she said. They shared not other word till Elliot arrived. He immediately rushed in and hugged her.

"Liv are you okay? What's wrong" he said.

"Elliot,Kathy.. is it okay if I stay here tonight?" As soon as the words escaped her mouth Kathy looked at Elliot and he did look at her.

"Of course you can Liv, but.. what's wrong.. Is everything okay with Nick?" Olivia shrugged her shoulders.

"We just have some issues. I just, I don't wanna deal with them today." She said and buried her head in Elliot's arms. He gently rubbed her back.

" I'll go make you some tea, you can relax and make yourself comfortable Olivia." Kathy said and moved to the kitchen. A few seconds later a five year old entered the room.

" Daddy!" he screamed and jumped on Elliot.

"Eli, hey buddy! How are you doing?" He said and placed him on the couch.

"I'm okay daddy!.. Livvie Livvie!" he screamed again.

" Hey Eli, you've grown so big, you know that?" She said and tickled him.

He giggled. " I know that. I'm five years old now!"

" Wow really? You're a man already" she said and placed him on her lap.

" Hey Eli, why don't you go bring Olivia some of mommy's sleep-robes huh?"

" Okay daddy" he said and jumped off of Olivia and rushed upstairs.

"Thank you Elliot" She whispered.

"No problem Liv, you know I'm here for you.. You feeling better?" She nodded and smiled at him. Maybe she was angry with him or even a little bit hurt, but she did trust this man too much. And she knew he was speaking the truth.

When Eli came back with one of Kathy's sleep-robes Olivia got in the bathroom and changed. She felt much more better when she took off those tight jeans. She put Kathy's robe on and stared at her reflection n the mirror. She stroked her tummy.

"You need to keep it together Liv" She said.

When Elliot noticed she was in the toilet for too long he went on looking for her. He pushed the door which was half open and stepped slowly in and called her name. He didn't get an answer nor did he saw her in there. He got worried for a minute but only till he opened Eli's door. There was she. Sleeping heavily with Eli wrapped around her arms, sleeping too. He got back downstairs where Kathy was.

" You found her El?" She said and gave him a cup of coffee.

"Thank you honey, yeah she's sleeping with Eli" he said and took a sip.

"Okay, Nick called while you were upstairs, I told him you'll call back. He's probably gonna ask if Liv's here"

"Okay,it's good to know" He went over where Kathy was sitting and hugged her. "Is it okay with you if Liv stays here for tonight?"

"Yeah Elliot of course. I just hope it's something that won't last more than today. She needs Nick. She obviously loves him too much but she also needs him..."

"I know that Kathy. I think they'll work it out soon. Tomorrow they will both be with clear heads, whatever it is they'll find a way..." He kissed her head." Let's go spend some time together now that Eli's sleeping" he said and took her by the hand leading her upstairs.

Olivia felt a gentle nudge.

"Livvie, Livvie wake up.. Daddy asks if you will go to work today" Olivia rubbed her eyes and opened them slowly. Was it morning already? She thought.

"Hey kiddo, yeah.. go tell your daddy I'm gonna get dressed and be right there"

"Okay Livvie" he said and kissed her cheek.

She got up and headed for the bathroom. She put her clothes on and barely some make up. She brushed her silky hair and put them on a ponytail letting some wisps to fall on each side of her head.

"You look adorable" Elliot said as soon as she appeared in the room.

" I look shit El, but thanks for the compliment, I'm ready to go"

"Good let's go" He said. He opened the door for her and let her get out first. They got in the elevator and Elliot spoke again.

"Liv, Nick called yesterday. He was worried sick, I told him you were sleeping here. Hope that's okay"

She nodded. " Of course it is El, I don't want him worried. Thanks.." She stared at the floor for a while." I don't think he was worried, he probably just didn't trust me again!" She said and stepped quickly out of the elevator.

Elliot ran behind her. " Liv, listen to me. I know you're angry with him. All couples do fight. And you know he's not my favorite guy from the very beginning but, if I know one thing for him is that he loves you to death" Olivia looked at Elliot's blue eyes.

"I'm too confused right now El.. I don't really wanna talk about this."

He understood and respected what she wanted. He didn't talk about this till they reached the precinct.

" Good morning guys" A very happy Amanda told them. Amanda always managed to keep her smile no matter what. That's something everyone admired. Olivia and Elliot answered back a good morning. They both then went and sat n their desks. Nick slowly approached her.

"Liv, how are you.. I was so worried yesterday"

"I'm fine Nick.." She said not taking her head from the paper she was writing on. " or don't you believe me?" She added.

"Come on Liv don't be like that, you know I didn't mean it that way.."

"Yeah, how did you mean it?" She said now looking at him with a sore look. She didn't give him the time to answer back to her. " You know what just... forget it Nick.. just..forget it" She said and stoop up, walking past him and got in Cragen's office.

"Give her time Nick, pregnancy hormones gets them bad.." Elliot said and patted his shoulder.

"I didn't mean to hurt her.." He whispered.

" I know pal.. just give her time.."

Olivia knocked Cragen's door and got in.

"Hello Liv, what is it?" She closed the door behind her.

" Captain, I was wondering.. can I partner up with Amanda for a few days?"

...


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello guys.. don't have much to say..I dont like my story anymore :P I need to keep practissing my writting skills or IDK..**

**Anyways..I hope u enjoy.. please review if u like.. ur reviews gets me happy :)**

Cragen widen his eyes at Olivia's statement.

" Is everything okay Liv?" he finally asked.

"Everything's fine..I just need a little break.. listen um.. if this is not possible just forget it.."

"No, it's fine Liv..You ran with Amanda for as long as you want."

"Thank you cap" She said and returned back on her desk. Cragen followed her a few minutes later.

"Rollins you ran with Benson for a few days. You okay with that?" All of them seemed surprised. Especially Nick.

"Absolutely Captain" she answered and gave Olivia a look. He then looked at Fin.

" I'm also fine with it captain, Just don't take my partner from me for too long" he said with a smirk.

Nick looked at Elliot with a sad look,but Elliot looked sad too. She asked for another partner? Was it that serious? In Olivia's mind, it was. She was hurt by his words, she took it too seriously but felt like he betrayed her. Like he didn't trust her. In somebody else's eyes it probably wouldn't seem so serious but in a pregnant woman's eyes, who was used on living alone and getting hurt often enough,it was serious. She tried to stand up,but her back was hurting her so badly. She put her hand on her desk for support. Amanda noticed that and ran to her and helped her stand up.

"Thanks" She said and headed for the counter. She took a blueberry juice from the cupboard and returned back and let a loud sigh as she sat back down.

"Olivia are you okay?" Nick said and tried to take a step toward her. She made her hand a "stop-gesture".

"I'm okay." She said.

She was scooping on her desk when Cragen returned.

"We got a new case, a fifteen year old girl was found naked walking in central park, she said she escaped from a man who was keeping her in a basement raping her. Her father is there, he said she was abducted two years ago. She doesn't really trust men so...Olivia, Amanda that's your call. Elliot,John you go to central park, ask people, neighborhood, anything.." The detectives nodded and left the precinct.

Amanda slowly opened the door and saw a scared teenage girl half asleep on the hospital bed with a man by her side.

"Hello there, I'm Olivia, I'm a police officer and this is my partner Amanda can we talk to you for a minute?" She said slowly walking toward the girl. Amanda grabbed the chair that was in the room and let Olivia sit on it. The girl nodded.

" What's your name sweetie?" Olivia asked again.

"M-Melanie" she muttered.

"Okay Melanie, can you tell me what happened to you?" She said, slowly leaning down getting closer to her. The girl started shaking and crying. The man that was standing next to her hugged her and stroked her hair.

"It's okay sweetie,the detectives can go if you want them to" he said.

"N-no dad,it's f-fine" she sputtered." All th-this started two years ago. I went for my, my everyday jogging. When someone, gr-grabbed me from behind and put me in a r-red van. Since then, th-the man who abducted me, k-kept me on a basement. He was raping me everyday for the last two years!" She said and her cry became more intense.

"It's okay sweetie, everything's okay now,we'll get him." Olivia said and stroked her arm. Melanie sniffed.

" But how? I.. I never saw his face, he was always wearing that m-mask...i only heard his voice when he told me how good I felt.." She took a deep breath and continued ".. Detective.. please.. save my baby"

Olivia looked at her with wide eyes." What baby Melanie?"

Melanie looked at Olivia's chocolate eyes. " My son, he's less than four months old. He's with this man. You.. You can't let him there"

"It's okay sweetie we'll find him" Amanda said.

"Please, find my grandson and catch this son of a bitch!" Melanie's father said as her pulled his daughter n another hug.

"Melanie, how did you manage to escape honey?" Amanda asked.

"He,he was drunk. H-he came to rape m-me again b-but he passed out half way through it. I... I grabbed the keys from his pocket and started running."

_Explains why she was naked_ Olivia thought.

"What about any buildings or landmarks, you noticed any of them as you were running?"

Melanie shook her head no."... But,there was a...a park or something,across that house. I could hear the little children, sc-screaming and playing, with..with their parents"

"Okay honey, you did great... You can rest now.." Olivia said, as Amanda helped her to stand up again and they left the room. Olivia noticed Amanda's weird look.

"You okay Amie?"

"Yeah,it's, it's just..She's a baby Olivia. Why did she have to go through this? Will she even get healed?" She answered and sighed.

Olivia placed her hand on Amanda's arm. " I know this is hard Amanda,we can't always explain why things happen. And we can't know if she'll get better or not. What we can do is help her healing process, by putting that man in jail."

Amanda smiled at her. There she was again, the badass detective who was working for the right thing.

"How is it possible, you've been doing this job for so many years and you're still the best human alive." Olivia smiled at her.

Amanda spoke again."Olivia, do you think that someone would have noticed a naked girl running? That placed can't be far away from Central park, n her condition, she'd not be able to ran that far."

"There's only a way to find out"...

Amanda and Olivia returned at the precinct about an hour later.

"What have we got?" Cragen asked as soon as they appeared.

"The girl is traumatized, she says he's been raping her everyday for the past two years but never saw his face. She also has a son.. a little less than four months old.." Olivia said and sighed. " She begged us to find him"

" Captain" Elliot shouted as he entered the precinct, Munch following him." We think we got something. The guy who found Melanie told us he had seen her again, looking through a window at the street,in a house across the playground he takes his son.."

" Melanie said there was a playground across the basement that man kept her" Olivia said. " Is this man willing to show us where this playground is?" she added. Elliot nodded.

"Okay guys, let's make a plan, don't you forget there's a four month old baby, we need to be discreet!" Cragen said as the detectives approached him and listened to his plan.

A couple of days later...

Elliot kicked the door open and ran inside with his gun n his hands, the other detectives and a bunch of officers following him.

"Richard White" he shouted. Richard started running and threw some furniture on its way to block the police. Elliot ran behind him. A gunshot filled the room but it didn't come from any of the police officers nor the detectives. Olivia ran toward where the gunshot came from, hoping it wasn't Elliot who got shot. She approached the baby's crib and let out a loud scream at what she saw. Fin ran to her and looked n the crib as he wrapped her n his arms. She was crying.

"It's okay Liv...It's okay..." he said and stroked her hair. Nick ran behind Elliot to help him catch the guy and Amanda approached Olivia and Fin to see what happened.

"Oh my God.." She said out loud. She took her NYPD jacket off and covered the dead baby, as Fin took Olivia away.

"Who did he shot?" Elliot said as he was handcuffing Richard. He had blood on his hands but Richards had blood on his face, betraying that Elliot beat the crap out of him.

Nick took a deep breath. " It was the baby Elliot, Melanie's baby.. He's dead"

"Don't tell me Olivia saw that." Nick nodded and got out of that basement, Elliot following him, trying not to beat up Richard again.

When they got out Olivia was covered with Fin's NYPD Jacket. She was staring at the ground. Not Amanda nor Fin was there with her though, She was on her own. Nick wanted so badly to go there but Cragen, who was outside waiting for them, stopped him.

"She's not good Nick, just leave her alone for a while. She just saw a dead baby. She needs to get examined by a shrink before she talks to anyone. Amanda and Fin are already getting examined. She's next." Nick sighed but obeyed.

Back at the precinct...

"How are you feeling now Liv?" He asked her... She didn't answer.. She couldn't get that image out of her head. In her head, it was he fault, She could have done something to stop him. She let that baby die. She failed to protect him.

"Guilty" She finally answered.

"Why?" he asked her again.

"Because I let him shoot that baby." She wasn't looking at him. She couldn't face him. She thought that everybody 'd think it was her fault.

"How did you let him do that Olivia? How is it even you fault?"

"I don't know George" She dropped her head in her hands. " I just.. I could have done something"

"Like what?". She again didn't answer. Deep inside she knew he was right. She couldn't have done anything,everything happened so fast. " I know there's something else there Liv, tell me"

She gently rubbed her belly as hot tears filled her eyes." I failed to protect that baby,how am I supposed to protect my own." She fought hard to keep the tears from falling. George Huang noticed that.

" You know bad things do happen on the job Olivia,this doesn't have anything to do with you abilities of being a mother."

"I don't think I can do this George. I completely understand Elliot now. He used to tell me that I won't be able to understand till I become a parent myself. Now I am about to become one and I already understand him. How am I supposed to tell that to Melanie? All she asked me was to find her son.." She said, finally looking at him.

"You know you don't have to be the one who tells her that."

" No, I want to. I'm the one who disappointed her, I can't let anyone else lift that weigh."

George nodded and opened the door, letting her step out as he made his way to Cragen's office.

"How is she?" he asked.

"Bad, she believes that she failed to protect that child and that she'll fail with her own."

"So what do I do? Send her home?"

"No Don, you keep her in for good. She does understand that this is not her fault. The trauma is just fresh for her to admit she's wrong. Sending her home will only make her feel more useless." Cragen nodded. He felt bad seeing his own detective falling apart. But he trusted her. He knew Olivia too well. She'd manage to keep herself together. He stood up and got out of his office.

" Everybody, go home,it was a difficult day.." he told his detectives. He noticed that Olivia and Amanda weren't there."Where are the girls?"

"They are n the cribs, catching some wings." Nick said as he grabbed his coat and left, not even bothering to go and check Olivia. He knew he wouldn't do any good by doing that. So he decided to silently leave and go to his daughter.

The next morning Olivia went to Melanie's house and knocked the door. Cragen tried to change her mind and let someone else go tell them the bad news but she repeatedly refused that. Melanie and her dad opened the door. She was wrapped in his arms. They look at Olivia with hope hidden n them.

"He's in jail" She announced.

Both Melanie and her dad waited for the next part of the sentence. But there wasn't any. The hope slowly disappeared when Olivia didn't speak again. Melanie started crying hard.

"I'm sorry" Olivia whispered. She saw Melanie's father's eyes getting filled with anger.

"Get out of my house" he yelled. Olivia, not wanting to upset him more did so.

A month later...

Olivia woke up from her phone's buzz. It was 7:00 am She had about an hour left till she had to go to work.

"Benson" she said.

"Hey Liv, It's Amanda. I'm sorry to wake you up, do you remember a case we had about a month ago, with a girl named Melanie.."

"Yeah" Olivia answered interrupting Amanda. The name of the girl was all she needed to hear. How could she ever forget that case.

"Her father called. Said Melanie wants to see you and asked if you can go by his house."

Olivia jumped from her bed. " I'm on my way Amie"

"Take it easy, I'll come and get you in an hour okay? Take your time"

"Okay thanks, Bye." She rushed n her closet and picked up an outfit. She wore a long knee-length blouse and a pair of jeans, trying to be the more comfortable she could. Her six months big belly wouldn't make it easy though.

Nick hadn't slept at her house for about a month now, he made efforts to talk to her but she'd turned him down. After sometime he just stopped, and told her he'd be there when she'll be ready. The truth was, she didn't know what to do. She loved this man but her selfishness wouldn't let her think clearly.

She looked at the clock 7:45, Amanda would be there anytime soon. She couldn't help it but keep thinking why would she want to meet her? She made herself a cup of tea and impatiently waited for Amanda.

As soon as her bell rang, she jumped and opened the door.

"Whoa,you look stunning" Amanda told her.

"I just had a great sleep" She answered.

"Ah Liv, you now made me feel like crap that I destroyed your sleep" Olivia laughed.

"Come on Amie, let's go.."

Melanie's father opened the door before Olivia and Amanda had the chance to ring the bell. He looked bad, not Olivia nor Amanda did say anything. He welcomed them inside and brought them a glass of water as they made themselves comfortable n his living room.

"Mister Richwood, I must admit, I was really surprised when my partner told me you called." Olivia said as she took a sip from her glass. He didn't answer. Olivia made another effort to make him talk. " Where's Melanie?" she asked.

"She committed suicide two weeks ago" He uttered.

Olivia looked at Amanda, who looked shocked too.

"We're so sorry for your loss mister Richwood, but.. I thought you told me Melanie was the one who wanted to see Olivia" Amanda said, starting to have a bad feeling.

Mr Richwood opened his desk drawer as he spoke "No... I wanted." He said, and pulled out a gun, pointing it at Olivia...


	9. Chapter 9

**HEY EVERYBODY :D i got some very cute and funny reviews xD How could i ever let Olivia die!**

**I hope u wont hate me after that chapter..**

**Read and please REVIEW :***

_Mr Richwood opened his desk drawer as he spoke "No, I wanted" He said, and pulled out a gun, pointing it at Olivia..._

Amanda immediately pulled hers out and pointed at him.

"Drop your gun or I'll shout her" He yelled.

" What makes you think I won't shoot you Mr Richwood?" Amanda answered, really pissed.

"I'm not that stupid blondie, you won't risk your partner's life. Maybe I am a quick shooter and the bullet will reach her before you'll even have the chance to pull the trigger. Now leave the damn gun down!" He ordered. Amanda knew he was right, She couldn't play with Olivia's life. Olivia who hadn't spoken till then said:

"Why don't we all calm down, non of you need your guns, just tell us what you want" She said, in a soft tone, when she saw his eyes full of anger, like that day when she had told him that his grandson was dead.

"You think I'm that idiot detective? Tell your partner to drop her gun or I'll shoot you. NOW!" He yelled again.

"Amie.." was all Olivia needed to say. Amanda let her gun fall n the ground.

"What do you want?" She said.

"You idiot? I don't want anything, my life's a mess. My grandson was killed and now my daughter, all this because of her!" His voice now more angry, as he kept pointing the gun at Olivia.

"You think it's her fault, I'd like to hear why"

He chuckled. " I'm not playing any games here detective. I'm not doing you any favors.."

Olivia let out a moan, that caused Amanda to look at her immediately.

"You okay Olivia?" She said and tried to move.

"Don't move!" He shouted. She stepped back, not taking her eyes away from Olivia.

"Yeah I'm fine,I'm just...Ugh.." She didn't finish her sentence when another pain hit her and got her on her knees.

"Olivia" Amanda screamed."Just let me go to her!" She yelled.

"NO!" He yelled back and shot n the air and then again, pointed at Olivia.

"Oh God.." Olivia said. She was staring at the ground. "My waters broke."

As soon as the words escaped her mouth they heard sirens from the outside and Amanda's phone rang.

"Wh- what's wrong?" Richwood uttered, looking a little bit scared.

"I'm gonna answer that." Amanda said and replied her phone putting the speaker on. "Hello"

"_Hey Amanda, it's Fin. We're right outside Richwood's house. There are police officer's here too. We heard a shot, is anyone hurt?"_

"Hey Fin,no no, no one's hurt. He didn't hurt us. He just has a gun pointed at Olivia. How did you get here?"

"_You said Richwood wanted Olivia to talk with his daughter, Elliot remembered his wife telling him that she saw on the news that Melanie committed. Got us suspicious. Cragen want's Olivia to talk too"_

Amanda looked at Olivia who was still at the ground slowly breathing, holding her belly.

"She, She can't really do that Fin, her waters broke a few minutes ago, she's in terrible pain."

"_What...We need to get her out of there"_

"Richwood won't let that happen" She said. Richwood grabbed the phone from Amanda.

"You heard her, I'm not letting them go. Now go away or I'll shoot them both."

"_You know that can't happen. Cragen says you can have whatever you want, just let them go."_

"I don't want anything you moron" He shouted and hung up as he accidentally pulled the trigger again, hitting Amanda's arm.

Olivia screamed in pain as a contraction hit her...

"Just let me go to her! I don't have a fucking gun, just let me help her!" Amanda shouted not caring that she was hurt. He nodded, his gun following her head as she moved. She knelt next to Olivia and placed her head on her lap. "It's okay Liv, I'm here..." She took off Olivia's jacket so as to make her feel better and took a handkerchief out of her pocket and wiped the sweat away from Olivia's forehead. She held her hands tight till the contraction passed and Olivia was able to breath again.

"You're bleeding.." Olivia whispered, trying to catch her breath. Richwood threw a couch-pillow at Amanda.

"This will help her" he said not taking his gun down. Amanda nodded as she placed Olivia's head on that pillow.

"It's okay honey, it's okay..."

"No, uh.. no Amanda it's not.." She said with difficulty. " Nick was right...I was...I was wrong..and now...those babies are not ready to come yet.." She cried out as another pain hit her followed by another contraction. Amanda understood what she meant. She was just six months pregnant and her waters had broke... She moved closer to Olivia's legs.. still holding her hand and unzipped her jeans and slid them down along with her panties, her knee-length blouse covering most of her body.

" I want some towels!" She screamed looking at Richwood.

"Right in there!" He said pointing at the drawer across the room. Amanda stood up and took them,returning to Olivia, always Richwood's gun following her moves. She couldn't tell if he was sorry, or didn't care at all. .his expression was weird and hard to be read. Amanda's phone rang again and Richwood answered it, putting the speaker on again.

"_Olivia"_ The person n the other line screamed.

"Nick" Olivia spoke with all the powers she had.

"_How are you baby, hang in there, we're gonna get you out soon Liv"_ His voice broke as he heard her scream in pain again.

"I'm sorry Nick..You were right.." she answered as soon as the pain passed...

"_No, no baby.. don't be sorry, everything's fine baby. I love you Liv.."_

"Love you too," Nick passed the phone to Cragen as he couldn't talk to her anymore, he himself started crying.

"_Amanda, it's Cragen how's Liv doing?"_

"Her contractions are coming sooner and sooner, she's almost ready captain..."

"_What about Richwood what does he want?"_

Amanda looked at Richwood.

"Nothing. Non of them is getting out till I decide what I want" he uttered and turned the phone off.

"Aaaaagh" Olivia screamed again as she separated her legs.. "I..I can't keep her Amie, she needs to come out.." Amanda heard her words and moved, now standing n front of her legs not separating her hand from Olivia's. She saw blood down there, but didn't tell Olivia, it was the last thing she needed to hear at that moment.

"Okay honey okay, I'm right here Livvie, you need to push when your next contraction comes okay?" Olivia did as she was told when her contraction came, letting out multiple hollers as she pushed with all her powers, again and again. "You're doing great Livvie,I can see her" Olivia breathed quickly, she felt a burn between her legs but Amanda's words and the idea of her seeing her daughter gave her the power to push when the next contraction came, followed by the loudest scream Olivia had let out that day. A baby cry filled the room a few seconds later. Amanda wrapped the little girl with the towels and placed her on the ground as the contractions for the next baby had already begun.

Then, just in second's... there was a shot, Richwood was on the ground,his arm bleeding badly. The house's door broke as police men rushed in followed by Nick and Elliot. The officer's handcuffed Richwood and Nick took Olivia n his arms and rushed outside.

"Take the baby.." Amanda whispered as she passed out. Elliot caught her and leaded her outside...

Six hours later...

Olivia opened her eyes, seeing an unknown environment. She blinked a few times and her sight got clearer.

"Hey Liv" Amanda said as she approached her. She was wearing a plaster cast on her arm.

"Amanda..hey.." she whispered..."How's your hand?" She wasn't fully aware of what was happening.

"I'm gonna live" Amanda answered.

"You saved me..." she whispered again.

"Yeah she did" Elliot said before Amanda had the chance to deny it, as he placed a kiss on Olivia's forehead.

Non of them spoke again. Nick wasn't there,the atmosphere was heavy, and Olivia had sensed that the moment she woke up..

"Where's Nick?"

"He'll be right here in a few seconds Olivia..." Elliot said, and he proved himself right. Nick entered the room a few seconds later running to Olivia as he held her head tight and kissed it.

His eyes were red.

"Thank God you're okay" he said as her stroke the back of her head.

"Where are the girls Nick?" She asked, worryingly. Amanda and Elliot dropped their heads on the ground. But Nick didn't, he was looking straight into her eyes.

"The nurse is gonna bring her in a while Liv."

"Her?.. What do you mean... I was pretty sure I was pregnant with twins.." she muttered, fear n her voice.

"Our other daughter.. She didn't make it Liv" He said and held her tighter as he allowed his tears to fall again. Olivia started crying too, her head buried n Nick's chest, sobs escaping her mouth.

"I'm so sorry babe" He said as he kissed her head again. He held her next to him till the nurse came in to break the sadness. She was holding a little girl, who was wearing a pink cloth with the phrase " I love my mum" on it. Olivia smiled as she remembered Amanda giving that to her.

The nurse passed the newborn to Olivia.

"Congratulations, you have a healthy baby girl" she said and disappeared. Olivia held her daughter n her arms, still crying, half happy tears,had sad... as the little girl wrapped his hand around her finger.

"She looks like you" Amanda said as she approached her and look at the baby. She indeed looked like Olivia. She had the same skin colour as Olivia, the same chocolate beautiful eyes, and had sure as hell the same strength like her mother. Olivia smiled as her daughter made a small noise.

"She has a name?" Amanda asked again. Olivia looked at Nick,her daughter, and then back at Amanda.

"Yeah, her name's Amanda, wanna hold her?" Amanda nodded, touched by Olivia's decision to name her daughter after her. She took her, holding her with her one available arm.

"Hey kiddo, you look wonderful you know that?" She said as she held her close to her chest...


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello everybody :) 1) thanks for the reviews! 2) I apologize for not updating for a few days..blame school for that! 3) I apologize to the people that got upset. Im not a specialist n pregnancies.. 4) About the nursing thing u'll see n this chapter.. my mum's sister in an OB/GYN so I asked for a few things and yeah... ENJOY :)**

Olivia didn't return home sooner than ten days after her daughter's birth due to serious injuries that were caused from the labor. She was forbidden from any sexual contact, gym or anything that had to do with her legs. Her daughter had to stay n the hospital, in a incubator for two more months, due to the fact that she was premature. She had to stay there for as long as she was supposed to stay n her mother's belly.

Olivia and Nick had entered their apartment less than an hour ago. They had came back from the hospital, where they went to finally take their daughter home. Olivia was now sitting on her bed, her back against her pillow as she was breast-feeding her daughter. She couldn't take her eyes off of her.

A few moments later a shirtless Nick entered the room and laid next to her, admiring that moment of motherhood. He kissed the bare skin of her shoulder. Olivia smiled at him. She put her bra back on its normal positing and starting gently hitting Amanda's Jr back waiting till she let out a small burp. Nick sucked that bare piece of skin and looked in her eyes..

"You're natural" he told her as he traced his hands up and down her skin. Olivia kissed his nose as she stood up, putting Amanda Jr n her crib just next to their bed. She returned back on the bed as Nick climbed on her.

"Keep the nose kisses for your daughter Liv" He said as he forced his tongue n her mouth. She chuckled as she opened her mouth, allowing his to have access. He moved down on her neck and stayed there, sucking every inch of it..

"God, Liv you're beautiful" he murmured into the curve of her neck."So beautiful, so hmmm."The next words were a mumble against her skin.

She chuckled.."Control yourself Amaro, I'm too tired tonight. Besides, its our daughter's first night at home and you're gonna show her how she got here?"

He stopped and looked at her eyes.. "No Liv, I don't wanna have sex with you. I wanna make love to you." he whispered and nipped her earlobe with his teeth.

She moaned." You're saying that cause you wanna get in my pants." Nick once again stopped his actions and looked at her.

"No,I'm doing this because I love you. Because I missed you, and because I want you." His look was serious.

Olivia couldn't help it but melt as the words escaped his mouth. She rested her hand behind his neck. "Okay." She said and pushed him toward her for a kiss. He slid his hands down her nightgown and ran them n her entire body. He wanted to feel her. After all those months. He just wanted to feel her. He caressed the flesh around her genetic organs with his hand, as he also slid his head down her cloth, moving to her breasts.

She moaned and laughed at the same time, as she was tickled by his breath. He unclippsed her bra letting her breasts exposed at his touch. He played with her nipples, sucking them softly.

"God,Nick" she whispered not wanting to wake the baby up as she dug her nails n his back. All his moves were soft. He rubbed her clit with his hand and moved his lips on hers for a passionate kiss as she moaned n his mouth. He felt his hand getting wet and he knew his tongue could make its miracle. He place a soft kiss on her lips.

"I love you" he said looking deep n her eyes. She saw his face slowly disappearing as he moved down to have vagina and licked her clit. She squirmed, her whole body making erratic moves as her orgasm hit her.

He got in position to get in her and dropped his boxers, but she stopped him.

"Nick,I'm not on the pill, and I really don't want to get pregnant again." She whispered.

"It's okay Livvie, I'll be careful" He reassured her but she didn't seem calmer.. The labor experience was still fresh to her and it wasn't the best one..

"No,Nick.. seriously..I really want to do that but.. it's better to stop it here if we don't have protection." He saw fear in her eyes and understood that she was still afraid of experiencing pregnancy again, or even think about it. He moved his hand on the small table near their bed and opened its drawer, and took out a condom. He got back and captured her lips n a sweet kiss.

"I got us covered baby." He said as he wore the condom and moved inside of her..

* * *

"Nick,Nick,wake up baby, you gotta go to work." Nick slowly opened his eyes and looked at the person who tried to destroy his sleep. He saw Olivia holding their daughter n her hands, smiled at this terrific view.

"Okay,babe I'm awake.." He said and stood up.. "Wait.. you said I gotta go to work, you're not coming?" He said and gave her a loving embrace.

"No, I asked for they day off so I can find some baby-sitter to keep Amja the days when we both work."

"Amja?" He chuckled.. "What's this.. a nickname from Amanda Junior?"

"That's exactly what it is Amaro" she kissed him as soon as the words escaped her mouth, but got interrupted by her daughter's cry. "Guess who's hungry again" she said, moving into the living room followed by Nick.

"Okay babe, you feed her, I'm gonna have a shower and get ready." He kissed her forehead and moved to the bathroom. Olivia nursed her daughter without taking her eyes off of her not for a single second. She felt so blessed to have her in her life.. but the truth was, everytime she held her.. She couldn't help it but wonder, how it'd be like if her other daughter was alive too. She pushed that thought away from her head when Nick gently shook her.

"Liv, you okay?"

"Yeah, why?" she said with a lost look.

"I've been talking to you for about five minutes.."

"Oh, Nick I'm sorry, I got lost somewhere in my thoughts." She said. He knelt in front of her.

"Liv, I know you were thinking about our dead daughter, I think of her much too often. And I really wish she'd be here with us. But we can't change that, and what happened to her was not your fault.."

She interrupted him. " It wasn't? Nick you've been a parent for more than I have. I should have listened to you and take it easier maybe.. maybe then she'd be here with us.."

"Olivia, it wasn't your fault. Things happen. We can't change them sweetie, just live with them. She knows we love her and we won't forget her, but, at least we have Amja here.. and that's the best present you could have possibly given to me, a little you. So now, let me give you one present to pay you back okay?"

Olivia smiled at his words, and looked down at her now sleepy daughter. He was right..Amja was the best present she herself could have possibly received. She looked back at him to see what he meant my giving her a payback present. He was already holding that small box wide open in front of her..her eyes filled with tears and let them fall as he spoke.

"You wanna marry me Liv? Cause I surely as hell want to."

Olivia kept staring at the remarkable,glowing ring that was n that box. She wiped her tears away. "I uh..Yeah..I do..." she said and pulled his tie, bringing him closer to her, for a kiss. Once they broke the kiss he put some hairs behind her ear and looked n her sparkling eyes..

"Thank you." He pulled n another hug and held her there for a few minutes. He then put the ring on her finger and stood up as his job was calling for him. "Stay safe." he said and kissed her forehead, and then his daughter's cheek as he slowly disappeared.

* * *

"Can you move it Stabler?" Amanda said to Elliot and gently pushed him back. He was standing right behind her, as she was trying to open her locker to take her second blouse and wear it. Elliot had spilled some coffee on the one she was wearing when she got there. He chuckled.

"Let me help you" He said. She blocked him from touching her locker.

"Haven't you done enough already? That was my favorite shirt!" She complained and turned her face back on her locker..

"I'm sure you look better without it" He said with a smirk.

She made a quick move to face him but his lips stopped her. Her eyes widen when she noticed what was happening. He moved his hands on her shirt unbuttoning it, so as to prove her that his last sentence was true. She grabbed his hands moved them away from her as she broke the kiss.

"I'm sorry" he murmured.

"Elliot just, go outside so I can change okay?" He obeyed , and left the room not saying a single word.

Amanda returned back n the squad room and sat on her desk, not looking at Elliot when Nick walked in.

"Good morning Nick.."

"Good morning guys!' he shouted with a smile on his face.

"You seem happy" Amanda said.

"Well, I am.."

"That daughter of yours right?" She chuckled.

"Yeah what can I say.. Amja is amazing... she's so perfect. She's been home for less than 24 hours and Olivia is already stuck with her...but..that's not all.."

"You and Olivia had sex!" Elliot said, trying to guess what was the other reason Nick was that happy. Amanda rolled her eyes.

"Shut up Elliot not everything is about sex!" she answered.

"Hey guys, calm down. It's not any of your business what me and Liv do in our bed. The reason I'm happy is that I proposed to her this morning, and she accepted." He said and sat on his chair staring at the ceiling, the smile never leaving his face.

"Proposed? Like proposed proposed? With a ring?" Amanda asked,excited. Nick nodded as she ran n him and hugged him. "Congratulations you guys.. I guess she's not coming today is she?"

"Nah, she said she wants to find a baby-sitter for Amja, but I know her.. she just wants to spend more time with her!"

"Well I don't blame her. She was alone for a very long time, she had a bad pregnancy, she lost a child.. and now she finally has her daughter home.. I can't even imagine her happiness" She said and couldn't help but think how Liv was doing..

* * *

Olivia was now walking on the street, for some baby-cloth-shopping, wearing her baby carrier. She couldn't help but laugh when she saw her reflection on a storefront, as she reminded herself a kangaroo. It was a sweet image though. It was her first walk with her daughter and she felt extremely happy. She walked to the park near her neighborhood and sat there on a bench, with her daughter, watching the children with their parents, running up and down the playground. She couldn't help but put herself n their place, cause in a few years she'd be chasing her daughter all around that playground. Her attention was distracted by a man who approached her.

"Excuse me ma'am. I believe this belongs to you" he said and handed her over her wallet.

"Oh yeah it does... Thank you sir, where did you find this.."

"It was n the store where you bought some baby clothes earlier.. I was there buying clothes for my nephew.."

"Oh, oh yea.. such a negligent I am!"

"Haha, it can happen to everybody.. Oh, I'm George by the way." He said and gave her his hand.

"I'm Olivia" She answered. Amja started crying. Olivia's mother instinct immediately woke up, as she took the carrier off of her and Amja n her arms to feed her. George who had sat on the bench next to her, turned his head n the opposite direction as not to see her nursing her daughter. Olivia chuckled. "It's okay, . It's something normal after all, isn't it?"

George looked at her again. "Yeah it is. But many woman don't like others staring at them. Your daughter, she's beautiful... she is your first right?"

Olivia nodded as she held Amja closer to her. "Yeah she is. Is it that obvious?"

"I had five kids of my own, believe me I can tell by the way you look at her, you've wanted her so badly"

Olivia laughed.."You're right. What about your children.. are they here n the playground?"

George lowered his head. "No they uh... they and my wife died in a car accident two years ago."

"Uh... I'm so sorry to hear that.. It must have been hard" She said, gently hitting Amja's back again.

"You can't even imagine..But yeah.. shit happens all the time right? I'm helping my sister raise her three angels now.. you see them over there, the three blond boys.." He pointed his finger toward the little boys.

"Oh yeah I see. It's very kind of ya. Lucky sister"

"I couldn't just abandon her.. she's a single mum, and she's my sister. When she got raped she just broke and her husband left her.. I helped her get back on her feet.."

Olivia looked at his with wide eyes. "Your sister was raped?" she asked,changing into her detective mode.

He nodded. "Yeah about 15 months ago"

"Did they ever catch the rapist?"

"No, the police didn't even care."

Olivia was about to talk when her phone rang. "Excuse me for a sec" she said and answered it

"Benson. Who is it? Oh hey Captain. I'm..I'm fine.. just went for a walk n the park with Amja.. yeah..well I know.. tell him not to worry. Okay cap.. see you tomorrow" She put her phone back n her purse and wore her baby carrier again placing Amja there. "George, I'm so sorry for what happened to your sister.. you can give her my card.. if she needs anything.."

George took the card from Olivia's hands.."Answering with your surname, calling the person captain, giving me card.. what are you a cop?"

"As a matter of fact I am. I'm a detective in Manhattan's Special Victims Unit. I need to go now..but..thank you for the company and the wallet. Maybe I'll meet you again n this park right?"

He smiled at her."Right.. take care detective"

Olivia went back home,happy. So happy that she didn't notice the car that was following her all the way.


	11. Chapter 11

**WTF.. So much hate.. for what reason? :$ u just destroyed my everything. As a matter of fact i've watched every single episode of SVU more than once. But that has nothing to do with the fanfic. thats why its called fanfic.. its not real. u can do whatever the hell u want with it.. and since the very beggining i said that my mother tongue is not english so i cant write as good as the other guys.. But this message killed my everything. You could have been more polite whoever u are. I'm just leaving the story and the site.. you happy now? You broke my mood for a freaking story u didnt like..**

**Hope you are ok with yourself..bye**

**PS. and for all the things u said that i made wrong**

**1) i have a twin. we were born at 25 weeks and we are both completely healthy. we just had to stay n an incubator for 3 months.**

**2) a sip of wine would have NOT but any means hurt the babies.**

**3) maybe i dont know many things about pregnancies or stories and im a loser according to u. but u probably dont know many things about being polite.**

**4) Dont u ever again question my SVU addiction.**

**5) what happens in my stories is clearly my business. non forces u to read them.**

**And i wanna ask u. You're getting happy by making the others sad?**


	12. Chapter 12

**LAST AUTHOR NOTIFICATION BEFORE THE NEW CHAPTER**

**U guys are actually so awesome. your words touched me and i thought about what u wrote. I absolutely love u my readers more than this whoever he is. So Im gonna start the new chapter immediatelyTHANK U so much for your support.. **

**Words cant even describe how awesome u guys are! Thank youuuuu 3 Love u all 3**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello my lovely friends and readers.. Once again thank you all for your support.**

**I want to apologize for this chapter. It's kind of shit and kind of short. It's more of a "connecting-chapter" for the next ones. I hope that won't happen again. I don't want to disappoint you guys but I had a pretty fucked up couple of weeks. Sorry for the small cliffhanger at the end of this chapter too... But please.. if you're in the mood... Your reviews always make me happy!**

As soon as little Amja fell asleep, an exhausted Olivia , barely dressed, on her black tank-top and her also black panties, made herself comfortable n the couch and turned on the TV. She zapped for a while and let the TV play on a random channel. She brought up n her mind the conversation she had earlier,with this guy she met at the park George. She actually thought of his sister, her rape wasn't even investigated, her rapist never caught. How many other womens' rapes were just ignored and how many victims had to live, knowing that not only their rapists weren't behind bars, but the police didn't even care to find them. The ringtone from her phone distracted her thoughts. She picked it up,looking at the screen before answering. It was a private number.

"Hello.." She got no answer, and the line went off. She placed the phone back n the desk and pushed her head back, gently massaging it. Her phone rang again, the same private number.

"Hello..hello?" The person n the other line didn't speak again as he hung up a few seconds later. "Damn it" she said as she dropped her phone on the couch. She stood up and walked n her kitchen,to grab a cup of tea. She also took the newspaper on her way back to her couch. She had found some nannies and wanted to call them. Her phone rang, once again. She immediately picked it up not seeing who was it, convinced that it was the same person.

"Who the hell is it?" She yelled.

"_Oh,I'm sorry Liv, it's me. Elliot. Bad time?"_

She swallowed hard. " No El, sorry. Some freaking guy was prank-calling me. That's all. What about you everything okay?"

"_Yeah, I was just wondering, can you go and pick up Eli from the kindergarten? Kathy has to visit her mum and I need to work,it's a last minute thing so if you cant..."_

"Don't even mention it Elliot. I'll get him. You can come from here and take him when you're done."

"_You can't even imagine what a favor you're doing to me Liv. I owe you one!"_

"That's why friends are!" She said as she hung up,only to make several calls again, to those nannies..

Two hours later,Olivia got out of the bath, and got ready to go pick up Eli. She let her hair free, and wore, not the usual shirt and jeans, but a light blue mother-like dress, giving her style a piece of gravity. She placed Amja in the baby-sling and left her apartment and drove to Eli's kindergarten.

Little Eli jumped on her as soon as she approached him, wrapping his hands around her lower waist as his height wouldn't let him go any further.

"Livvy" he yelled.

"Hey,kiddo.. I'm gonna take you home with me today cause your daddy and mommy are a little busy. Daddy will come and pick you up when he's done okay?" She said and stroke his head, her other hand never breaking contact with her daughter's body.

"Okay Livvy,!" he said with a big smile, as he held her hand and followed her back n the car.

"You up for some ice-cream n our way home Eli?" She asked him, placing the car belt around him.

"Yeah" he screamed, excited. "Can I get a cookie too?"

"You know what.. you can get two cookies, and we won't tell your dad!"

"Yeaaaah!" he yelled again, even more excited, and pulled her hand to hug it, as she was driving, almost making her lose control.

By the time they arrived at Olivia's apartment, Eli had a stomachache from eating too much ice-cream. Olivia made him a hot cup of tea and, let him take a nap on her bed. She gently tucked him in and kissed his cheek, as she moved into Amja's room to check on her. She was also peacefully sleeping. She looked like a small angel n her small white onesie. Olivia just sat there and stared at her as she ran her hand on her tiny body, caressing it, feeling so blessed for that little present God had given her. She left the room half an hour later and went into the living room,to call Nick. She had missed him a lot already. The day seemed so long away from him.

"_Hello princess" _he answered his phone, immediately.

"Hey there. I hope you're not too busy I just wanted to talk to you for a few seconds"

"_No it's okay, I'm just doing some paperwork here, then I'll come home. When you are away there are no cases. Can you explain that?"_

"Of course I can. People don't trust three elder guys to handle this. Amanda on her own can't stand you. That's why"

"_Elder man? You called your fiancee an elder man? That was nice!"_

She shuddered when she heard the word fiancee, and smiled.. "You know what, I think it's better if I go and let you finish. This way you'll come back sooner"

"_Okay babe, I love you"_

"Love you too Nick." She hung up the phone and moved back n the bedroom, curling next to Eli, her hands around his small waist, slowly closing her eyes,falling asleep.

"Livvie Livvie! Wake up! The baby needs you." Olivia felt two hands shaking her arm. She opened her eyes and saw little Eli standing n front of her. She took a look at the clock. She was sleeping for three hours. She heard Amanda's cry and she immediately jumped out of the covers and ran to her room. She took her n her arms and gently rocked her.

"Shhh, it's okay baby. It's okay, mommy's here." She whispered and kissed the soft skin of her cheek as she got her on position to nurse her. Little Eli appeared in the room a few seconds later.. Olivia smiled at him. "Thank you for waking me up big boy" She told him. He only got next to her and kissed her own cheek. Like he understood how she felt. Cause Olivia couldn't forgive herself for not hearing her daughter's cry over her sleep. How could she not hear her own daughter asking for her. And what if next time no Eli will be there to wake her up. She was a new mum,and so full of anxiety to make this right.. The knock on the door got her out of her thoughts. She looked down at Amja, who had stopped eating, and had closed her eyes,ready to go back to sleep. She moved to the door, with Amja still n her arms, and Eli running behind her.

"Hey El." She said opening the door, as she stepped back, letting him get in the apartment.

"Hey Liv... Did I wake you up?" As soon as he finished his sentence Eli jumped on him.

"Daddy!"

"Hey buddy. Hope you didn't torture Olivia that much huh?"

"No he didn't El. He was such a great boy. And.. no you didn't wake me up. I woke up to feed Amanda anyways" she said faking him a smile. "Come on let's grab a cup of coffee"

He gently grabbed her arm when she turned him her back to move. "Liv, I can see something's wrong, what's wrong?"

She started at her little daughter and held her little fist . "Amja was crying.. and if Eli wasn't here to wake me up. I don't know if I'd hear her El." she said not looking at him. He patted her shoulder letting her know that it's okay.

"That's all Liv? And I'm sure you have a I'm-already-not-a-good-mother thing in your head don't you?" She didn't respond. He lead her to the couch and let her sat there as he spoke again. "Liv don't stress yourself with such things. It happened okay? There's no way you wouldn't wake up even if Eli wasn't here. Your daughter is one of the luckiest girls n this world for having you as a mum Liv. And I really believe what I'm saying." he said and kissed her forehead.

"Thank you El.." She stood up and move towards Amja's room and put her in her crib. She returned back and made a cup of coffee for Elliot and a hot tea for her, as she was breast-feeding she tried to avoid coffee. She put the movie "Finding Nemo" on the video for Eli to watch as she and Elliot talked for random things for quiet some time. Elliot was occasionally looking at the ground, like he was looking for something. The truth was.. all he was looking for was a way to tell Olivia.. She'd be hurt, probably cry herself out that night. He knew. But he was there to offer her full support for as much as she'd need it. He wasn't going to leave her all alone. But he had to tell her...He had to tell her right that moment..


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello everybody. I know i said I'll try not to disapoint you but there's a possibility i have a serious desease and i couldn't really concantrate.. Hope everything's just fine.. So sorry for any shit done n this chapter guys! Enjoy!**

**R& Review please.**

_Previous chapter: She'd be hurt, probably cry herself out that night. He knew. But he was there to offer her full support for as much as she'd need it. He wasn't going to leave her all alone. But he had to tell her...He had to tell her right that moment.._

He looked deep in her enticing brown eyes, that would be filled with tears in a few minutes. He didn't want to be the one who'd cause them but both Cragen and the other detectives thought it'd be better if he'd tell her. Of course Amanda could tell her, Finn could tell her, John could tell her. But it had to be Elliot. He knew her better than anyone, he could comfort her better than anyone..

"Olivia, I need to talk to you about Nick.." He said, breaking the silence that had covered the room the past few minutes.

"Oh yeah Nick, Elliot thanks for reminding me! I need to call him. He said he didn't have much work to do but he's too late for just some paperwork" She answered and stood up searching for her phone.

"He's not coming Liv.." Elliot muttered, his eyes staring at the floor. Olivia froze..She took her time and thought of his words that had just escaped. She then rushed back at him.  
"What do you mean El?" She said looking straight at him. He didn't answer, neither looked at her. "What do you mean?" she said again, her voice raised, and now more fear was hidden behind her question. Elliot sighed and looked at her, he stood up so as to face her better.

"He's not coming. He had to.. go undercover." He said and embraced her. She pulled back and look at him tears now threatening to fall.

"What?"

"It wasn't really much of his choice Olivia. His ex-wife got into drugs. She asked for his help and his former Captain saw it as an opportunity to collar a big gang that inserts huge amounts of cocaine. I don't really know details but that's what he told me to tell you. I'm sorry Liv. Believe me it was a tough decision for him too. He didn't want to leave you alone.."

"But he did." She screamed as a tear escaped and ran down her cheek. She couldn't believe it. They just got their daughter home. She had called him, and talked to him just a few hours ago. They had just got were supposed to enjoy it. Be together. He was supposed to help her through motherhood. Where was he now?

Elliot made another effort to held her in his arms, and this time she didn't pull back. She just let the hot tears roll down her face, and sobs replace her beautiful voice. Elliot caressed the back of her head.

"It's okay Liv. I'm here for you. You know I am. For as much as you need me. It's okay." He wrapped his arms tighter around her and didn't let her go till his phone rang.

"Pick it up" She said and pulled back, wiping her tears away. She heard Elliot talking with who she supposed it was Kathy n the phone, but didn't really pay attention. She was thinking of Nick. Again, how could he do this to her. How could he leave her all alone. She felt a hand on her shoulder and jumped as she didn't see Elliot coming toward her.

"Liv, that was Kathy. She's home. I can stay here with you if you want me to though.." She put the brave face on.

"No El, it's okay. I'm fine.. Go home." She said and moved n her daughter's room, shutting the door behind her and not coming back till Elliot and Eli left.

The next morning everyone went back to the precinct except Olivia. Non of them thought she'd come anyways. Amanda was sitting on her desk, continuously looking at the entrance, hoping that Olivia would appear. Elliot had told them about last night and he himself, wanted to call Olivia and check on her so badly, but he knew he shouldn't. He'd probably stop by after work. He couldn't made up his mind on what was the right think Nick should do. Go undercover or stay with his wife and their daughter. He tried to put himself in Nick's position but still, he didn't know what would he do.

Olivia's appearance in the precinct took everyone by surprise. She walked to her desk and dropped her purse n there. She was dressed n a dark purple t-shirt and black Palazzos, not much of a Benson outfit.

'Motherhood got deep into you didn't it?" Amanda said as she rushed toward her and pulled her n a hug. Olivia hugged the tinier detective back and forced a smile as they pulled back. "How are you Liv?" she whispered to her, looking her straight in the eyes.

"I'm fine" she murmured and patted Amanda's shoulder. It was then that Cragen walked out of his office ready to say something, but changed his words as he saw Olivia standing there.

"Liv, I wasn't counting on seeing you in today. You alright?" She just nodded, and he spoke again. "We have a case guys. A woman named Annabelle Steward was raped early this morning. She says she was raped before and is asking for detective Benson" he and the other detectives looked at Olivia. She also seemed surprised and wish that person wasn't someone she knew too well.

"I'm on my way Captain." She said but he stopped her..

"Liv, before you go.. Just.. don't get to angry with Nick.."

"If you mean not let this affect my job it won't happen captain" She said a little bit offended, thinking that her captain didn't trust her enough. She moved again but Cragen spoke once more.

"And Liv, Zara needs a safe place to stay. Her grandparents volunteered but, she says she wants you..You think about it and let me know." She left the precinct not looking back at captain, not talking to anyone, just followed by Amanda who was enough for her. She was a great support and support was all Olivia needed at the moment.

Arriving at the crime scene Olivia saw a familiar face standing next to the victim.

"George?" She said as she and Amanda approached them.

"Olivia, it.. it happened again.." he said looking at her and then to the frightened woman who was obviously the victim. Olivia knelt in front of the woman, who she understood was George's sister. The one he had mentioned yesterday at the park. She seemed so young. In her middle twenty's maybe..

"Hello sweetie, can you tell me what happened?" The woman looked at her and with shaking hands wrapped her arms around her. "it's okay sweetie." Olivia murmured.

She pulled back and started talking. " He.. he grabbed me from behind as I was walking back home fr-from work. He- he said, You shouldn't let the police know bitch. I think you need a lesson again. And then he-he raped me" She burst into tears as soon as she finished her story. Olivia held her hand in hers. She couldn't believe that woman, was raped again, by who it seems to be the same man, because her brother let Olivia know about it, and she wasn't angry with her at all.

"Annabelle, did he use a condom?" The woman nodded as the paramedics took her and rode away saying they had to examine her soon.

"Where do you know her from?" Amanda asked her as they both headed back to the car.

"I met her brother yesterday at the park, where I went with Amja.. he told me about her rape. But how could her rapist already know?"

"I don't know Liv."

"It almost escaped me. Amanda, I had some calls yesterday from some private number.. you think it can be related?"

"Again Liv, I don't know. Let's find out what we can."

"Olivia.." the detectives turn their heads to where they thought the voice came from. It was George. "Olivia hey, I need to ask you. Will you, will you guys investigate my sister's rape this time?" She gave him a sympathetic smile, as her eyes stopped at the little baby boy he was holding n his arms.

"Yeah George. We will. I promise you I won't stop till I get him okay?" She answered, still looking at the little boy that was peacefully sleeping. He wasn't more than six months old.. maybe less. Could he be Annabelle's rape product? That thought crossed her mind but she didn't dare to ask.

"Thank you.. Olivia thank you so much.." he said and gave her a smile before leaving, with three young boys following him n his car.

She was now sitting again on her desk. They had arrived back at the precinct two hours ago. Amanda was using her computer skills to find out anything that could help them find this perp. Other cases with same MO or anything... Fin and Munch were gone half an hour ago to talk to some people in Annabelle's life, and see if anyone noticed someone following her the last days. Elliot was doing nothing.. he pretending to be looking at some files, but he was only thinking of whether or not should he go talk and comfort her. She was just, silently staring at Nick's empty desk, with the sense of loss so powerful... Her gaze was into the far distance, unseeing but fixed on some imaginary future of a life without him. She maybe was overreacting, but she missed him so badly. She wasn't even able to talk to him, and she didn't know for how long would he be away. A tightening of her throat and a short intake of breath forecast the explosion of emotion which she managed to keep buried deep inside. Not anymore thought, the vision she had, began to swim in front of her as tears welled from deep inside and coursed down her cheeks. She bit her lip, keeping herself from sobbing aloud. Her eyes turned red as she continued crying n silence, her sweaty forehead pressed against the edge of her desk. Her mascara mixed up with her tears ran down her face too.

She heard Cragen's door opening and wiped her tears away with her hands, trying to hide the fact that she was crying, but her red eyes and the black signs her mascara left on her cheeks didn't help her. The same time her phone rang, she picked it up, not looking at Cragen who was already looking back at her.

"Benson. Who is it? Oh, hello miss Amaro, yeah I'm fine thank you. Well actually I'm working now... Yeah, yeah okay.. meet you there. Thank you" She put her phone n the desk and looked at Cragen. "It was um, it was Nick's mum, she wants to meet me about Zara. Is it okay if I leave for twenty minutes captain?" She tried to seem brave and not hurt, like always. Cragen passed her a tissue.

"Go wash your face first. Go talk to her, and don't come back today Olivia. I'll have Amanda inform you if anything new comes up."

"With all due respect Captain, two detectives gone is a little too much for the unit isn't it? I can stand this. You need to trust me."

"I do trust you Olivia. But that's an order." he said and went back to his office,not giving her the chance to answer back nor to fight this. She sighed and hit her fist n her desk with great force, she herself feeling a sharp pain hitting her hand as she let out a small scream, without wanting too though.

"Oh Gosh" Amanda said and rushed to her. She wrapped a hand around her waist and with her other hand she held Olivia's hurt one. Elliot passed her some ice and she gently touched it n Olivia's skin.

"I'm okay.." She said and took the ice from Amanda,her hand already started to puff up. She grabbed her purse and left the precinct. She stopped at the small coffee shop across the street from the precinct where Nick's mum told her to go. She was already there with young Zara sitting next to her.

"Olivia" the little girl shouted and waved at her. Olivia approached them and sat on the empty chair. The waitress appeared immediately and Olivia ordered an ice-tea. Little Zara stood up from her chair and went over and sat on Olivia's lap. Olivia placed a kiss n the top of her head.

"Miss Amaro, it's nice to meet you" she said and gave her her hurt hand. She let out a small moan as Nick's mum touched it.

"Nice to meet you too Olivia. Is your hand alright?" Olivia gave her a smile, trying to seem polite and not broken.

"Yeah it's okay, I just hand a little accident." She said. Non of them spoke for a while till Nick's mum did so.

"Listen Olivia, I know my son hurt you, and I know you're probably mad at him. I'm not gonna try to justify his actions. I just want to make sure Zara's fine till her mother comes back okay."

Olivia took a deep breath before speaking. "Miss Amaro, I have no intense on stealing your granddaughter from you. But I'm more than willing to take her home with me and her little sister if you agree with that. And, to make that clear.. I don't hate Nick.. I just want him to come back.. " The older woman so the pain n Olivia's eyes. She saw what a brave and strong woman she was, but she also saw the love she had for Nick.

"I know that dear. And I know, I can feel it as a mother, Zara's gonna be just great with you. I just wanted to make sure you'll let me visit her and maybe, let me meet my other grandchild too."

Olivia smiled and took her hand n hers. "You don't even need to ask. You can come over and see both your granddaughters every single minute of the day now, and after Nick comes back and forever." The two women shared smiles. They sat there and talked,laughed, but not once mentioned Nick again.

After her meeting with Nick's mum Olivia didn't return back n the precinct, not because she was told to do so but because Zara had asked her so kindly to spend sometime together with her and Amja. She entered her apartment where Vanessa, her young babysitter,was sitting on the couch watching some TV.

"Hello there" She said as she closed the door behind her and dropped the small suitcase she was holding n the floor. It was nothing more than a suitcase with some of Zara's toys and clothes. Vanessa jumped from the couch and ran toward her and took the suitcase..

"I was just..I just sat, cause Amja fell asleep I promise I took good care of her" The young girl who was not older than 18 years old said to Olivia, afraid that she'll thing wrong about her. Olivia chuckled and stroked her back.

"It's okay dear, I believe you. Calm down. I'm sure you did a great job! Now if you can please, before you leave, make a toast for little Zara over here, I'll go and tidy the things in this suitcase" She said and gently took the suitcase back. Vanessa and Zara both smiled at each other, as Vanessa took her hand and went into the kitchen to do as she was told.

Olivia -who was nursing Amja- and Zara were now n the living room watching some cartoon movie Zara had chosen. Non of them paid too much attention to it though. Zara was continuously looking at her baby sister, kissing and caressing her small fist, and Olivia was looking through the files from Annabelle's previous rape case, Amanda had brought that files to her after her shift was over. She didn't understand how the time passed but when she dropped the files on the table it was already sleep time for the girls. She gently stood up and went into Amja's room and placed her n the crib,covering her with her pink blanket.

"Goodnight lovey, mommy and daddy loves you" she whispered and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Livvie do you have any cocoa? I can't drink my milk without it" Zara said as soon as Olivia returned back n the kitchen. It wasn't what she asked, but the way she asked it that Olivia felt like she had to get it for her.

"No I don't honey but you know what? The market is right next to our building, I'll tell miss Brown to come and keep an eye on you for two seconds and I'll go grab some okay?" She said not wanting to just say a simple no to the sweet little girl in front of her. Miss Brown was the elder neighbor of Olivia's. Olivia gave her a call before leaving, and she kindly accepted the offer, as she loved children and didn't have any of her own. Olivia had always feared that she'd end up like Miss Brown, but then Nick came into her life and took this thought away from her mind.

Before leaving Olivia had a call from George, asking if they found something on his sister's rape. Olivia gently explained him the situation, reassured him that she's absolutely investigating this case till the end, but she also told him that he had to wait for her to call him if anything new came up, and that she wasn't allowed to discuss anything from this case with a civilian. She had already taken that case personally and she knew Cragen would take her out of that case if she'd become too attached. After talking with George she finally left the apartment. She took her time to choose the best cocoa for her young -step-daughter-like girl. She paid for it and let the assistant keep the change, as she only wanted to go back to her apartment be with her girls, and take some sleep.

As soon as she reached the door of her building she felt someone pressing her body hard against the fiberglass door. He had his elbow hard pressed against the back of her neck and his knee n her back. She soon felt his hand moving and found the opportunity to punch him, and she did so. He was wearing a mask so she didn't get the chance to see his face, and he soon had her again immobilized, her face toward his though,with a knife blade against the skin of her throat...


End file.
